Confessions of a meditation junkie

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Confessions of a meditation junkie

For years I was a meditation junkie, looking everywhere for a fix in the form of the ‘ultimate calm’. And in the spiritual marketplace there was (and still is) no shortage of methods to dabble in.

In those years of searching for myself and the so called answers that were ‘out there’ I learned a lot about how easy it is to lose yourself while sitting cross-legged on your butt. Yes, even on the well-lit path to apparent enlightenment it is very easy to get lost!

Here is my guide to the best 5 meditations NOT to try:

1. Fancy abdominal breathing and Pranayama techniques.

Warning to the wannabe wise: these breathing techniques will likely require a manual to understand. Nuff said.

2. Guru Gazing Meditation

I once attended a meditation course with a spiritual group where everyone meditated by looking at a photo of the guru. By staring at the guru’s face, who apparently was in a transcendental state of consciousness, you too could tap into your transcendent state of consciousness. I was intrigued, curious and the people were very polite, but it was all a bit weird. Something just didn’t feel right and I felt uncomfortable giving my power away to a so-called ‘guru’.

3. Expensive Mantra Meditation

Next on my search was a meditation where after paying a lot of money, I was given a special mantra that was unique to me to recite in my mind over and over for 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes in the evening. I felt so special with my unique mantra until again I realised I had given my power away and was being lured towards the levitating and flying meditations to come . . . if one was willing to dig deep into their pockets!

4. The 10 Day Silent Martyr Marathon

This one all sounded good – cleansing the mind of impurities, developing equanimity, loving kindness and goodwill to others. I had heard about these 10-day silent meditation retreats that had a Buddhist flavour about it, so I decided to give it a go. The schedule meant meditating for around 10hrs a day for 10 days with absolutely no talking allowed at all during the 10 days. This proved to be quite a challenge for many – and it was hilarious at the end of the course to hear the many confessions of secret phone calls and chocolate stash escapades in the bush. Once back into everyday life you were to meditate 1hr in the morning and 1hr in the evening. Even though this meditation technique gave me relief from my hectic lifestyle (which 10 days of silent sitting will do), it just wasn’t practical. And I couldn’t help but notice that the serious devotees had withdrawn from life and people.

5. Mindfulness Meditation

Becoming a master at being stress free doesn’t really change the behaviours that cause stress, so it kind of doesn’t work! A ‘masking and avoiding my issues meditation’ is probably more apt a description for this one!

So how does this story end you may be asking?

Despite all of these attempts at different meditation techniques, I hadn’t given up on it completely as deep down I knew there was something true and beneficial about meditation.

And then in 2007, you can imagine my surprise when I was introduced to a very simple meditation by Serge Benhayon with no mantras, no rules, no fancy postures . . . just an intimate connection with my breath and all the honesty that it offers in the moment – surrendering to the gentleness of the in and out breath.

I thought to myself . . . “Could it really be this simple?”

I realised that the answers I had been searching for had always been with me in my body and I just couldn’t see this because I was too busy looking ‘out there’ for answers.

All along the connection, wisdom and love I was looking for had been waiting patiently within me. It was as simple as surrendering to the essence and stillness within, one breath at a time. So simple, and yet so powerful!

What I love about the Gentle Breath Meditation is its simplicity in connecting me to an honesty in my body that very quickly tells me if how I have been living is supporting me or not. When I stop to connect to the natural gentleness of my in & out breath, whatever quality I have been choosing, can be felt very quickly. The true power is then knowing that I have the choice to put a stop to any momentums that haven’t been loving towards myself.

So in essence, the Gentle Breath Meditation keeps me honest and reminds me to come back to a responsible and loving way of being and living.

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Honesty and Gentle Breath Meditation

The Gentle Breath Meditation allows us to feel what is going on in our body and develop an honest relationship with ourselves.

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