Anxiety and being a man
In the confines of a counselling clinic, many men and fathers report feelings of anxiety on a regular basis.
However, anxiety is rarely what initially brings a man to our clinic; generally, they present to support their children, a friend or a partner. However, it is interesting to observe that when a man feels safe enough to share, they frequently report experiences of anxiety in their own daily life.
- Why are men not seeking support for their own presenting symptoms?
- Why are men experiencing this world in a way that has them feeling anxious?
- Why are men not feeling safe to express how they are truly feeling?
At the core of every man is a deeply sensitive and very VERY tender man.
However, the question I ask is:
Does our world offer a platform for men to openly live and express their deep sensitivity and tenderness?
In short, the answer is no.
If you hold a baby boy in your arms there is no doubt one can feel the absolute sweetness, tenderness and sensitivity that is the essence of this baby boy. There is an exquisiteness that words cannot describe, but can only be felt. We allow the baby to just be, as the baby equally allows you to just be.
This baby then grows into a little boy, a teenager, a young man and an adult.
But is the end product, the adult, still expressing the innate sweetness, tenderness and sensitivity that was there at the day of their birth?
The answer again is typically no.
But why? What happens as this baby grows up? At what stage do these qualities disappear, and are they truly gone or are they just buried?
Boys, teenagers and men today are often asked to ‘toughen up’ or words alike. Before we know it the innate sweet qualities are no longer being expressed and have been replaced with rough play, harsh tones, hard exteriors etc.
However, below the surface the essence has not changed; there is always the same sweet, sensitive and tender being waiting to feel safe to express their innate qualities.
"When one is experiencing anxiety they do not feel safe to express"Michael Benhayon
What if a man’s anxiety is related to their not feeling safe to express who they truly are?
So why are men not feeling safe to express?
Is it possible that people do not always feel completely equipped to respond to the reactions that may come from others as a result of what or how they have expressed?
For example, a man today who expresses his sensitivity is likely to receive many unwanted reactions that would leave him not feeling safe to express.
Is it probable the man may be called an array of derogatory names after such an open expression of sensitivity and tenderness?
Why? Because it is so-called ‘not normal’… however it must be noted that a man’s natural way is to express his innate sensitivity and tenderness. So what impact is it having on a man’s quality of wellbeing to live against his natural way – just to fit the so-called norm?
What if men decided to live against the norm and go back to their natural way? What if we as society provided a foundation and a platform that allows boys, teenagers and men to feel safe to express their natural sensitive, tender way.
Therefore, is it not each of our responsibilities to question honestly and openly:
What platform do we provide for ourselves and others to express?
Do we provide a foundation that allows each boy, teen, man and person to express their sweetness, sensitivity and tenderness that each new born baby innately reminds us is at the core of us all … no matter our age?
What if combatting anxiety in men can be initiated by offering men a foundation where they feel safe to express … a foundation that allows a man to express his sensitivity and tenderness without fear of reaction from any other person?
This is the responsibility of us all!