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Depression (a reframe)

What if depression is normal?

Perhaps you feel more keenly than others the real state of society – that we are OUT OF CONTROL. Every time you look out at what is going on in the world and/or within your own life all you see, hear and feel are all the crazy things going on:

  • War
  • The denigration of women in the news
  • Abuse of children by priests
  • Murder
  • The ridiculous rates of illness and disease

Perhaps you are aware and sensitive enough to allow yourself to feel how bad things are and how much things need to change both in your personal life and globally and don’t know where to start?

The crazy state of society has an impact on you and can make you feel:

  • Tired
  • A lack of motivation
  • Like avoiding life and people
  • That there should be more to life
  • A loss of appetite
  • Like eating too much

This can result in:

  • Sleeping difficulties
  • Addictions
  • Lack of self-worth
  • Raciness
  • Inability to make decisions and/or get on with things
  • Suicidal thoughts

How crazy is society when you are labelled as depressed whereas the following behaviours are labelled as normal:

  • Striving for success in business at the expense of each other
  • Over or under exercising
  • The excessive intake of caffeine, sugar, food, drugs and alcohol
  • The sexualisation of our media

Sometimes our solution to feel better or more in control is achieved when we try and help others. Yet when we do too much for others and/or take on their pain we deplete our own reservoir of energy. This can lead to a feeling of not being able to cope and that we can’t control our lives. This can lead to anxiety and/or depression.

Some of these feelings may also stem from our childhood, if we were raised in an environment that was not optimal for flourishing or if we began to feel – way back then – that the world was out of control yet we could not express it in a way that could be understood by others.

What causes depression?

Medical Science is divided on the causes but some psychologists agree that depression stems from a childhood that was not optimal for flourishing such as:

  • Abuse
  • Neglect
  • Over-protection
  • Parents who want their child to be what they want them to be – not who they are
  • Parents who are living their own unresolved life through their child

If we can't control the world or the past ... THEN ... What can we control?

We can learn to control how we react to the realisations that:

  • The world is a crazy place
  • We were not treated in a way that confirmed us
  • Our connection to our own foundation of truth and love that was present from our birth was not confirmed.

At a core level we all have a choice over how we react. Although it may not feel like it, we DO HAVE A CHOICE as to how we deal with the feelings we are having. We have a choice whether we withdraw from life – giving up on ourselves or whether we seek to become more aware of what it is that we are truly being driven by and then with that understanding, make different choices that nurture our own bodies and minds.

We can choose to get more connected with our physical bodies and our sensations, feelings, patterns and thoughts because when we are more aware, we have a choice to seek support to heal our hurts or simply to continue to live in reaction to what has hurt us – we have many choices.

Depression also comes from exhaustion and we have the choice to become more aware of our patterns and to learn to say no, risk disappointing people and begin to set boundaries that ensure that we are not overburdened in life. Things can begin to shift when we let go of giving up and withdrawing and begin to get curious about how we can connect more deeply with ourselves to deepen our level of awareness.

Listen to this this audio on how to connect more deeply with ourselves – a student of your own body.

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Presenting from the livingness

Presenting from the livingness comes from someone living from their inner-most.

We can also take control of how we are treating ourselves.

When feeling depressed it is very challenging to consider making better choices that could support our wellbeing. However, taking the smallest step towards greater kindness to oneself can have a powerful impact on our state of mind.

The trick is not to wait until we feel better before we act – but to act even when we are feeling flat, sad or depressed.

Choosing just one thing to do for yourself – every day – consistently for a few months can have a direct effect on the way your body feels. If we feel cared for (even by just you) we truly begin to feel loved and cherished and this challenges the depression in the system.

What sort of choices could we make here? Choosing to:

  • Go for a gentle walk every day even just for 15 minutes
  • Wash our face at night with a warm cloth
  • Make at least one healthy meal a day
  • Throw out clothes we don’t wear
  • Tidy our cupboards

When we choose to do something just for ourselves we challenge the old thought patterns of whether we are selfish or worthy of this choice. These are the very patterns that need to be challenged! If this sounds daunting – seek help from a professional in how to move from depression to more self-loving choices OR just try one thing for a while and see if you feel different.

Filed under

DepressionSelf-nurturingExhaustionConnectionSleep

  • Thumb small jean gamble

    By Jean Gamble, Psychotherapist

    Jean works as a psychotherapist with individuals, couples, families, teenagers and children. She knows that when we can move past our layers of protection from hurt and we connect deeply with our innermost self we can have rich, satisfying and purposeful lives and relationships.

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    Photography: Iris Pohl, Photographer and Videographer

    InCoCreation Iris Pohl is an expert in capturing images with a natural light style, meaning little to no time is needed for photoshop editing and the 'original' moment captured to represent your brand and can remain in its authenticity