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The Ring – Part 4: Surrender, responsibility and love

What is it about the fascination that most women have with weddings… and more to the point – because let’s be honest about the real agenda ladies – why the urgency around the engagement ring?

Emerald, princess, pear or round, gold, white gold, rose gold, Tiffany, Cartier, Bulgari… it’s an industry that has men by their balls and has women falling veil first into the illusion and glamour of weddings.

Jess continues her story…

Letting go of trying to control situations and Surrendering has never been a massive strength of mine but was actually quite simple, and in relinquishing the control a playfulness arrived like a breath of fresh air.

When any thoughts came in that would previously suffocate or dampen a moment of delicious connection with my partner I could literally laugh at them – and even at times poke fun at them with my partner. There was no more hold… I knew I was delicious and whole and that the day we did get engaged would be a lovely day to mark our commitment, but my urgency for this to take place had dissolved leaving a playful confirmation… allowing myself to know it was true, feel the bubbling sensations in my body and most of all with a surrendering, trust it would unfold exactly as it needed to.

Shortly after I arrived at this playful surrender my partner proposed to me.

It was unexpected… not in a way where I was in a hot air balloon and he surprised me on one knee with a ring… in a way where I was in my trackies [track pants] researching a documentary I was interested in watching and wondering if I would be better off going to bed early that night. My boyfriend pulled the ring out and we both felt incredibly nervous for a moment – all those conversations and yet still some nerves. In true fashion we spoke about the nerves and sat with one another, feeling everything together. Despite all this we felt incredibly certain that this was the right time and as he slipped the engagement ring onto my finger and the words “will you marry me?” came out of his mouth, we felt an enormous drop of energy in the room. To my surprise I felt something that I haven’t referred to in this blog once yet…. one word that became so clear – responsibility – the responsibility of reflecting a different way (which we can all commit to). The commitment felt just as deep and just as divine but a weight suddenly anchored my being, I had never felt a responsibility ripple through my entire body as it did in that moment and with that I made a choice and said, yes.

For me there was something about the engagement ring going on my finger that supported embodying the experience and personally I feel that perhaps, after all, a ring does have a place in a marriage proposal. Not however as a distraction or substitute for what may be lacking in the relationship or as the only focus, forgetting about the true meaning, but in the name of ritual. What are we doing as women (and men), reducing our relationships and the connection to ourselves and our loved ones to conform to the ideals that are sold to us as a perfectly packaged but inevitably empty picture, and at the cost of what? Let’s claim back the true meaning of commitment and marriage.

"Form relationships from love for love and not to relieve hurts or fill needs."

Serge Benhayon Esoteric Teachings & Revelations, p 517

I wear a diamond ring on my engagement finger that once could have held a very different meaning to me. I have a strong connection to the importance of love, truth, responsibility and joy within my relationship and therefore within my life. These are the ingredients that lay a foundation for a marriage and ignite the equally important honouring, ritual and celebration that I look forward to calling our wedding.

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Presenting the energetic truth of love

We are at war simply because we have changed the meaning of one of the most profound words known to man. No points for guessing what it is. The question is, are we ready to stop the fight?

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LoveRomanceRelationshipsMarriage

  • Thumb small jess gamble

    By Jessica Gamble

    Jessica Gamble works as a body orientated psychotherapist working with a variety of presenting issues and with all ages. Jess also enjoys working as artist painting mixed media abstractions. Jess has a small but healthy obsession with her therapy dog Tea.

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    Illustration: Hemma Kearney