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Motherhood beyond our children

It would appear that we have been making a terrible mistake. Is it possible that by re-interpreting motherhood as something that is exclusive to those women who have children, we have compromised all our relationships … completely? And thus we have isolated and limited a natural quality (of note: quality vs. physical ability) we all have, to the exclusive right of a chosen few, and this has hugely detrimental effects on society?

In truth, Mothering is a universal activity, innately equal within men, women and children. It is the natural ability and willingness to nurture, care and look out for, tend to and lovingly observe others.

But many have ring-fenced motherhood as the exclusive responsibility and right of those who have children.

Fifteen years ago, during my first pregnancy, I fell for this same crumpled consciousness completely, proudly taking my place in this exclusive ‘mothers only club’, enthralled by the exclusivity and the special place I then held in life. I endeavoured to ‘do motherhood’ aptly and felt my rise and fall on a scale of achievement within this club and its implicit rules. In Truth, it never felt great. I was always about to stuff up or grabbing at moments that had gone well to shore up my position.

It is a no brainer that this is all totally topsy-turvy for many reasons:

  • We apply huge pressure on ourselves to perform to a set of ideals that are always just out of reach, therefore setting ourselves up to fail

  • We focus on outcomes and results which insidiously puts huge pressure on our children to deliver something back to us

  • We sever ourselves off from others in this exclusivity, creating division and separation and missing the whole point that we are all in this together.

And in this thick smog of man-made belief that motherhood starts with a placenta we totally fail to seize the fact that our children are not our children, but the guardians of the future and the responsibility of us All.

"We have a responsibility in bringing a child into this world and in doing so we have a greater responsibility in raising them for the whole of mankind and not from our lack or excesses."

Serge Benhayon Esoteric & Exoteric Philosophy, p 290

To live anything but this is brushing aside true relationships, compartmentalising us into factions, because just as we have created motherhood as an exclusive club, hundreds of others abound in society (our careers, social position, wealth, health…)

The truth is that mothering is a far more all-encompassing quality, in us all, and when truly expressed it is not confined to the interactions between a woman and her child.

  • It incorporates self-care, both as a responsibility to be in great shape to serve and as a reflection for others
  • It incorporates true nurturing: the observation of and engaged guidance of all our young people without an ounce of patronising, indulgence or pandering
  • It incorporates the attention towards and care for everyone, equally so, regardless of blood relativity, culture, race, religion or nationality, but with the big picture held as inspiration, knowing we are all in this together and that rather than being divided by anything we are inextricably and exquisitely linked
  • It also has nothing to do with age, something that older people impart to younger, and no doubt many of us have been beautifully humbled by children mothering us with such clarity, simplicity and loving authority.

"Age alone does not denote truth nor experience, it merely counts the years spent in one's energetic state of being."

Serge Benhayon Esoteric & Exoteric Philosophy, p 87

So can a child ‘mother’ a grown up, can a boy ‘mother’ another child, can a grandfather ‘mother’ a teenager he meets for the first time? Of course, for mothering is universal to us all, and essential too.

Mothering is not a biological relationship but instead an innate quality that runs deep in the veins of every woman, man and child.

Mothering is the quality of holding life in our hands with a tenderness, respect and completeness that fortifies and supports true love.

In past times ‘mothering’ was considered to be the quality of living wisdom that was shown, lived, nurtured and expressed towards others – see more at: Mothering – The essence of true nurturing

Filed under

MotherhoodParentingRaising childrenChildrenHealthy relationships

  • Thumb small matildabatthurst

    By Matilda Bathurst, BSc Hons, RGN, RM, PGCE (Primary)

    A life enthusiast, nurturer and willing learner; mother, teacher, walker extraordinaire, registered midwife & nurse. Thriving into my elder years.

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    Photography: Dean Whitling, Brisbane based photographer and videographer of 12 years.

    A versatile commercial photographer who shoots corporate portraits, architecture, products, events, marketing material, advertising & website content. Dean's philosophy - create photos that have a magic about them.