Penis size – Is that really what we should be talking about?

Penis size – why the obsession?

Penis size – Is that really what we should be talking about?

Why is it that the world seems to have an obsession with the size of one’s penis! I mean men – and in some instances women – measure manhood, by the manhood.

Men’s rejection of themselves has always started with their body; it’s what we’ve done and how our society has placed us within it. A boy will always be measuring himself against his peers, his father and older men, looking and listening to what he sees and hears, then conforming to it.

An article written some months ago in one of the leading Australian newspapers was about penis size, and what the average size is in length and girth. The content for the article came from research done in the UK.

My first thought on seeing the article was “how does this help men, really?”

There’s three ways this article can be read:

1. Penis size doesn’t bother me and I’m comfortable with it

2. I’m above average – hell yeah!

3. Embarrassment for not even having an average or below average penis.

In all of the three scenarios there runs a common thread of rejection or maybe something more hidden, such as shame.

Shame runs deep in the world of men and a big shame is if your manhood isn’t up to scratch.

Women who tell men that it’s not the size that matters but the way you use it are only contributing to the shame, for what really is often perceived to be said in this saying is that size does matter… I know it and so do you.

Men are very much into their body image – not necessarily in the same way as women, for men can take as much pride in being overweight and having a beer gut as they can in having a six pack, if it helps portray them the way they want to be seen.

But ultimately what we men use our bodies for, regardless of how they look, is to keep us from feeling – it’s what we use as our defence. Men use their bodies to keep the world out, for fear of what the world is going to reject about them.

So back to penises and size: if what the article in the paper really wanted to talk about was men and how they feel rejected, then why not just do that? Why make it about a body part that then becomes the focus for discussion and not the real issues that men face?

Is it because that as men we only look at what is external and speak from that rather than review ourselves from within and speak from that place? What if this article was written from a place of true care and understanding for and of men? Would this not have expanded conversations into much deeper and richer ways for all men?

Rejection has clearly been an issue for us all. It’s what we felt as children and have carried through into our adult lives. It’s a hurt – a wound that when left un-dealt with produces an incredible amount of tension and stress. It’s in all our meetings with others – am I accepted or not, will they like me or not, am I good enough or not? We carry this package around and do daily harm to every relationship that we meet, and the most harm we do is to ourselves.

But what if there was another way? How would we be if we could see what rejection was doing to us and all our relationships?

What if we stopped and felt the way that we had been treating ourselves? Could it be possible that as men, all that we have wanted is to just feel – feel the love and tenderness that is inside us, and that has always been inside us? Could then this be a way forward, a more open and honest conversation that men might have, rather than some throwaway article on the size of one’s penis – which not only humiliates men but gives us an excuse of not wanting to talk at all.

It’s the depth of love that you feel as a man – and expressing that love – which then allows others to feel your love. Now that’s true manhood.

  • By Mark Twist, Bricklayer

    A man who sees life very simple, a lover of the world and all who live within it. I love life, getting to meet people through my work is the best thing about my job.

  • Photography: Dean Whitling, Brisbane based photographer and film maker of 13 years.

    Dean shoots photos and videos for corporate portraits, architecture, products, events, marketing material, advertising & website content. Dean's philosophy - create photos and videos that have magic about them.