Is true beauty really in the eye of the beholder?

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Is true beauty really in the eye of the beholder?

If true beauty is in the eye of the beholder, does this not say more about the eye doing the beholding than the subject of its gaze?

Talking about his role as Tootsie, Dustin Hoffman shared how much he learned about the pressure women are under to look good. Not only did he want to be able to look like a woman for the role, he found that he wanted to look good. In his experience as Tootsie, Hoffman realised he’d been brainwashed as a man to favour beautiful looking women. He was visibly saddened by the recognition of his own behaviour towards women, and the many interesting women he never considered approaching because they did not LOOK a certain way.

How do we get to know ourselves beyond the narrow confines of fashionable beauty and its fickleness?

  • In the era of the waif, buxom is ‘ugly’, conversely
  • In the era of buxom (clearly not now!) the waif becomes unattractive
  • Flares are ‘in’ or they are just plain ridiculous
  • Straight hair is sexy or everyone is lining up for a perm
  • Tattoos are taboo one moment and a fashion accessory the next

Is it any wonder our minds are hoodwinked by what counts as fashionable beauty? While we are kept busy watching for changes to keep up with, we miss noticing that true beauty comes not from fashion or its products but has a much deeper source.

True beauty is the by-product of our own self-acceptance, appreciation, nurturing and love.

Our connection to these qualities is mirrored in our thoughts, the way we treat ourselves and the contentment, delicateness and ageless love we feel in our own skin.

The confidence that comes from connecting to our true beauty is beyond price. From this confidence, not arrogance, there comes a beauty, not vanity that is felt far more deeply than it is seen.

Like when a woman walks into a room and you can feel her ease, freshness and the graceful beauty alive and present in the way she moves and carries herself. Grace Kelly had it and so did Audrey Hepburn. Beauty that was felt far more than it was seen: even though both of these women looked beautiful, there was a graceful, timeless quality about them that went far beyond their looks.

When we start to re-connect to the beauty within, we become the beholder of our true, exquisite, immeasurably precious selves. Instead of being at the mercy of our appearance, as Hoffman talked about, we feel and see ourselves from an inner eye that knows the depth of our true beauty and dresses not for approval, admiration or acceptance, but simply to enjoy expressing unreservedly from this beauty within.


"Be the woman you feel yourself to be and not the one that has been told what to feel and be."

Serge Benhayon Esoteric Teachings and Revelations, p 539

Filed under

AppreciationBeauty mythsBody imageBody positiveAcceptanceFashionConfidence

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    By Adrienne Hutchins

    I’ve always been interested in understanding the underlying cause and effect behind what we experience in life and for this the heart is the greatest teacher any student could have.