Terminating a pregnancy – a woman’s decision
Terminating a pregnancy is delicate for many different reasons, but it should always come back to a decision from our bodies and what feels true for us.
As a woman that has had three terminations and two full term pregnancies during her reproductive life, I can fully understand the impact of making the decision to terminate the pregnancies based on what was right for my body, and the support in where I was at in my life during that time. Over the years I have only shared my experience with a few close girlfriends for fear of being judged, as this is a topic many people have firm beliefs on. However just recently I realised my story can perhaps support another in understanding that a woman must always make a decision in her life from her body first.
With each unexpected pregnancy I noticed that my body was already saying no or yes to having a baby with each early realisation of finding out I was pregnant. With the two children I gave birth to there was a very distinct strength in the way I felt them embed themselves in my uterus and into my body, with heightened hormones and other signs.
The first termination took place as we were newly married when we were deeply financially committed; the second was straight after delivering my first child and I was still suffering delivery complications, and the third termination came about when I was unwell with depression.
With each of the pregnancies that I went on the terminate, right from the start there was not the same depth of feeling in my body, so I ask the question: perhaps when we are faced with wondering if we should continue with an unexpected pregnancy is there something our bodies are telling us and are we often influenced by outside factors, religion, judgement etc., to sway a decision that in the first instance should come wholly and solely from us and our bodies?
In my own experience there were many important factors for me that ultimately supported the decision to terminate these pregnancies: they were poor physical health, allergy to drugs necessary to safely deliver by caesarean, great financial pressure, depression and feelings of overwhelm exacerbated by not having family support and outside help. Each of the times that I made these decisions I did them with the support of my husband, GP and gynaecologist, however that still did not make the decision easy.
As I reflect back to that time now, I feel resolute with my decisions, as I understand more fully the capacity of my body and wellbeing: what I do realise also is that there is great judgement with terminating a pregnancy and it affects all ages of people.
Several years ago in the presence of my husband and adult children, we were on the discussion of abortion and my children were stating that I would have a great problem if they had an unplanned pregnancy in their relationships with their partners. My immediate return question to them was why would you feel that – haven’t you seen me be open to women’s health issues and abortion over your lives? They replied sharing that their observation of me in my life was that abortion happened to other people and not their mother. So I shared with them that their father and I had made the decision to terminate some pregnancies during our married life together. At that moment there was dead silence, and as our conversation began again they expressed their surprise and also shared that they had no idea that we had made those decisions. That to me proved that the decision my husband and I made all those years ago was not living in our bodies as regret, guilt or shame. We had claimed this decision as right for us and right for that time of our lives.
"We must let go of all those belief systems and values that feed the mind into believing what we are told rather than knowing what is truth from the impulses that live within the inner-most of every being."Serge Benhayon Esoteric & Exoteric Philosophy, p 203
Whatever hurdles you are faced with in life, they are just that – hurdles to give us a chance to delve deeper into what we are feeling within our own body and trusting that; not what society or other factors may dominate. If we do this, we make our decisions, including those around terminating pregnancies, without guilt and regret and live a full life true to who we are.
"There is a strength in knowing what you can and cannot do.Serge Benhayon Esoteric Teachings & Revelations, p 541
And even greater strength in honouring it."