Esoteric yoga: union with me and God – at last
Looking for union
I am often asked if I do yoga and my answer has been, “yes I do, but no, not in the way I used to practise and teach it”. Yoga claims to be uncompetitive, and a way to find union. I practised yoga for over 30 years, taught for 20 years, worked with some of the leading teachers from around the world and read widely on the subject.
Yes, yoga does mean union, but in all those years I never found an explanation of what that union was... just something wishy-washy, like connecting to your ‘higher self’ – and that was left to your own interpretation. It always felt like an unattainable state. It was like a carrot in front of me that kept me hooked – forever enticing me to get to an elusive destination outside of me and far away, always requiring more study, another posture and more courses, which I dutifully did.
I felt like I was trying to find union and connection in the many postures, Sanskrit words, complex philosophical discussions and relaxation and meditation techniques – but I couldn’t find it in any of these things. I felt I was actually going further away from the truth and far from the union spoken of.
I kept going because there was a sense of self-worth and identity I realised I had in practising and teaching yoga in this way. It was something I could hide behind, giving me a false sense of confidence and security. When I taught, I always felt I was someone else – the words I used were not mine.
Looking for truth
I felt I was not living any kind of union with myself or God... in fact, I found saying His name impossible. My body was tight and ached for a rest.
However, in 2006 I went to a talk by Serge Benhayon and I felt for the first time a deep knowing that there was indeed another way, which felt more true to me. A way that I felt I already knew and one which would support me to be me, to get me out of the mess I knew I was in physically, mentally and emotionally.
A few years later I had my first one-to-one Esoteric Yoga session. I could feel how deeply the presenter was connected to their body and how steady they felt. There was a depth and simplicity that resounded somewhere deep within me – a beauty of simply being there with no need to try and nothing to reach or gain.
I tasted a union with my own body and felt a quality of stillness within me. This feeling came from being with my body, and so I realised I could feel this any time that I choose to be with me. It is available in every moment. This kind of union is something very practical, and something I could live every day.
Previously, if I wanted to override any uncomfortable feeling, I could always do a pose or a breathing technique to make it go away. I realise now that in doing this I was storing my feelings up, burying them deeper in my body and choosing to ignore what my body was showing me. I had in fact been dis-connecting from my body through such practices.
But now, in Esoteric Yoga, I can feel grace and the healing of truly listening to my body.
True union... at last
In these sessions, and now on my own, I can feel the union of me – being present with my body and allowing it to be, without trying to get anywhere. When I am present and accepting in this way I can feel what union truly is. It is a relationship with me. And in this I can feel my connection to God.
I find it is immensely practical as I can have mini-sessions wherever I am. This could be in a waiting room or while travelling – my body feels free again, my breath tender and my expression can be felt and heard in the world.
In these sessions I have met me and I have felt the wonder of what lays within the inner heart. It feels like I have re-opened a window long closed and allowed streams of light to pour out from it. Union through Esoteric Yoga – simply Divine!