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What if we are not the hurts we have experienced?

Recognising that we are much more than our hurts can help to build better self confidence, create better relationships and put a stop to feeling tired and depressed.

It is true – hurt happened to us and it moulded how we relate in the world. How we have dealt with our life experiences determines how we relate.

See which of the following is your pattern of relating to hurt:

  • aggressively – on the attack lest we get attacked
  • defensively – looking to shift the blame lest we feel the hurt of having got it wrong
  • compliantly – making everything fine for everyone else – even at our own cost
  • absorbingly – taking on all the blame and beating ourselves up for the misunderstanding or error
  • strivingly – making great effort to be the person “they” wanted you to become or you believed you needed to be

These strategies are not who we are – just our chosen way of dealing with the hurts we received which get in the way of us trusting the love we truly are. When we begin to trust this love we have better self confidence, healthier relationships and feel more vital and less stress every day.

What if we are born as true and equal bundles of Love and how we live didn’t and perhaps still doesn’t support this fact?

How do we deal with an environment that cannot see and reflect that which we feel and know to be true; that we are all born equally from love and full of love? Of course – we adapt to survive. BUT – it’s not working.

  • Let’s stop trying to live up to a picture that was imposed on us by our family and which is not really who we are and is so much less than we know ourselves to be.

  • Let’s start to feel and trust our innate knowledge of what is in fact true and real – which has always been there. We are all from the same source of love.

Consider how amazing a being we were born to be – before the hurt, rejection, abuse, lack of connection and striving for approval and recognition. Letting go of our hurts can lead to greater self confidence, less stress and anxiety and better relationships ... just some great reasons to give it a go.

Filed under

LoveAbuseRelationshipsConnectionConfidenceAnxietyHurtRejection

  • Thumb small jean gamble

    By Jean Gamble, Psychotherapist

    Jean works with individuals, couples, families, teenagers and children. She knows that when we move past our layers of protection from hurt and connect deeply with our innermost self we can have rich, satisfying and purposeful lives and relationships.