I Love You: the importance of expressing love in relationships.

How much do we appreciate to be told we are loved?

When another expresses those three succinct words "I Love You", it is a confirmation of what we all know is our inside truth . . . and that is that . . .

We are Love

It melts us and touches our hearts so deeply to feel this truth. So why should we live daily without expressing love, to all those we love?

And equally how liberating it is and what a blessing to be the one who communicates that love and adoring of another; to express the love that you feel within, that if you fully allowed would burst forth from your heart.

There are a billion ways that we can express the details of how much we love a person, it doesn't have to be the words "I love you", it can also be the activity of love expressed, a generosity or a thoughtfulness like turning up un-announced to give your partner a lift home from work, folding someone’s washing with the utmost care ready for their day, helping someone study for an exam, picking someone up from the hospital after an operation and taking care of them; showing you love someone is actually an honouring of them.

It is sad to contemplate having to endure life lived without discovering how much love we have inside us, and then not expressing love to all those we share this human life with. And yet this is becoming the norm. Consider just how much we withhold letting each other know how we truly adore them, and yet this is happening everywhere, and in fact it is AN EPIDEMIC.

It is a daily assault of complacency, and 'near enough is good enough'; a lack of connection, holding back, ignoring the truth, lack of appreciation, not being met, missing, being misunderstood, checking out, withdrawing, feeling under-valued, feeling irrelevant, avoiding contact, shutting down and numbing so as to not feel, pretending, and being dishonest.

This might feel like a lot but it's worth naming all the ways we escape from being loving with each other to feel the full impact of what is going on in our relationships.

Why is it that we put so much time and energy into NOT expressing the love we feel to those we love? – when we know for real how much it hurts us all to not receive this beautiful appreciation, and how lonely it feels when we don't allow ourselves to communicate our love in our own unique way.

Innately our hearts know this truth and we can’t truly rest until we are met with the same loving harmony expressed to and shared from another, and we yearn to connect to this.

There are so many of us walking through life burnt and dejected, traumatised and given up, because of a lack of expression of true love and value in our lives. And this is not just the domain of people who are not partnered, but festers away in marriages, unchecked; in families, friendships and business relationships where it is 'normal' to take each other for granted out of familiarity.

It is actually cruel to live alongside someone we have chosen as special, to be intimate with in our lives, and then fail to appreciate the love that they are, and choose to not deliver this appreciation daily by expressing love.

There are so many people aching to be told they are lovely, waiting to be valued for how amazing they are.

It takes presence and commitment to love to be able to feel the detail of what you love about another, and let them know fully what that means for you, and not just on 'special' occasions.

Every day is a special occasion, and an opportunity to appreciate the gift of living with love in your life.

Yet it appears that many of us are settling for and accepting crumbs!!!

Could it be possible that when we are expressing "I love you", it is sounding and feeling like a platitude, because it is often not delivered with true conviction from our whole body?

We need to come back to the importance and sincerity of what it is we are expressing when we say "I love you" to another.

  • Are we connecting to them with our eyes when we say it?

  • Could we share more about the uniqueness and special qualities of that person?

  • Are we allowing ourselves to be fully open-hearted, to even begin to be able to express truly lovingly to each other?

  • Do we allow ourselves to feel the specialness of our inner romance and express that out?

  • Have we got our 'individual' self out of the way so that we are not loving just for the show or a return?

  • Have we taken the time to understand the 'certain way' that this person would like to be shown that they are loved, that melts them to their core?

So, consider these questions, and show someone special you love them from all your appreciation, your sense of fun, your true romance and the deepest reservoirs of your heart – expressing love in the fullest sense.

You will be amazed at the love you will receive back.

Filed under

CommunicationConnectionConscious presenceCouples therapyFeelingsHealthy relationships

  • By Annette Baker, Relationship Counsellor

    Annette's love is supporting and confirming people in returning to the truth they already know deep inside. This she does through her own constant and dedicated relationship to understanding and living the greater meaning and purpose to life.

  • By Gabrielle Caplice, Sacred Esoteric Healing Practitioner and Relationship Counsellor

    Gabe loves working with, connecting to, and understanding people. Together with her life partner Annette Baker, learning all there is to uncover about love and relationships is her life's work.