Being your own valentine - real love begins with YOU!

Being your own valentine: real love begins with YOU.

Being your own valentine - real love begins with YOU!

So ladies, let’s talk about Valentine’s Day . . . What does it really mean to us?

Most of us can relate to wanting to be romanced, admired, adored, to feel special, or to simply be loved. But why is there so much pressure, worry or effort that goes into this one day each year? What is it about this day that brings up so much desire in us to be treated a certain way by others?

Although it is always lovely to receive flowers, a love letter, card, or go out for a special dinner, we all know deep down that real love and romance is more than this. There is something more we are craving – but dare not say.

Could it be that we crave real love?


Real love does not magically just appear on one day of the year. As much as we get sold this notion, it is simply not true.

The truth is that you already know what real love is. You know it deep inside you. If you didn’t know real love, you would not ever be hurt, disappointed or sad when you haven’t had a truly loving experience. Everyone knows and deeply wants real love more than anything else.

Real love is consistent, it is in every moment – not some more than others; love is a quality of respect, fullness, understanding and openness with yourself and others.

And, so if we are finding ourselves desiring something on Valentines Day – what version of love have we settled for? And exactly what have we accepted in our daily lives that is not the real love we would so love to have?

Real love requires true love for yourself first and foremost.

Surely we deserve to love ourselves so much every day that Valentine, or no Valentine – we know how gorgeous, amazing and truly beautiful we are.

SO, What does Valentines Day really show us about the quality of our relationship with ourselves and others?

What are some of the signs that we have settled for less than real love when it comes to romance?

  • If someone can pull out all-stops on Valentine’s Day – but does not treat you with the same love, care, respect and consideration every other day of the year – ‘then honey, are they really your Valentine?’

  • If your partner tries to make up for poor behaviour, and uses this one day to prove their love for you – you need to let them know that you deserve more than 24 hours – that’s not love.

  • If we put pressure solely on Valentine’s Day to bring us something to show we are – appreciated, liked, loved, or even just acknowledged by our partners, then what is this telling us about our relationships?

  • If we use this day as an excuse to go all out and ‘treat’ ourselves – how are we really treating ourselves on a daily basis??

When we are able to love, adore and appreciate who we are, we also raise the bar on what we accept as love from others. And so if we are looking for someone else to adore us but are not adoring ourselves we will settle for a relationship that is less than real love.

And, if we have settled for less than real love with ourselves, it’s no wonder that we seek one day where all of our ‘romantic dreams’ come true so that we can feel a version of love – even if it is only for one day.

Now, we all deserve more than that!

What would happen if we were to actually start honouring the real love we know we deserve every single day – and not accept anything less?

What would we have then?

Our true love for ourselves. The beautiful thing is, our love for ourselves can be as deeply intimate, sweet, caring, romantic and gorgeous as we like. Our relationship with ourselves is our ultimate, eternal love – and, we can have it 365 days of the year. True 24/7 Romance.

Now this takes romance to a whole new level! Just imagine the relationship we can enjoy with ourselves; and share with others when we make our lives about real love.

You know how to love yourself like no one else - it’s time to give yourself the Valentine’s gift you have always wanted – 24/7 real love, real romance every day of the year – you deserve it and nothing less.

Filed under

Self-loveSelf-worthSelf-empowermentSelf-esteemValentine's Day

  • By Kylie Jackson

  • Photography: Alan Johnston, Photographer

    I have studied Social Documentary Photography. Lots of life experience throughout which I have kept a keen sense of humour.