Natural or normal – how are you living?

Natural or normal – how are you living?


  • Normal is what represents the majority within society; the norm.

  • Natural is our innate way, our unique expression.

  • Sometimes what is our normal is not actually our natural, and vice versa.

Let’s explore this further and how it plays out in our lives.

I had the absolute joy to be standing in a queue – very normal in these times – and to be greeted by the most engagingly gorgeous baby of about 16 months old. The baby was in their father’s arms looking over his shoulder at me and was so open, beaming with their whole being; it was so precious. Later that day I was with someone who was talking about what’s normal and what’s natural. And I immediately thought of this baby in their full natural self. This baby was a reflection of how we all were once before we let the normal take over, before we surrendered our open-heartedness to fitting in to what those around us consider normal and not cause a fuss.

Then a few days later on the tube waiting at a station with the doors open I could hear the ahhhhhh sounds of another baby expressing themselves, just exploring, playing with the sound of their voice, the vibration and movement. The baby did not know that ‘tube normal’ is to be very quiet, preferably silent, looking down, no engagement.

Babies don’t know the normal rules of engagement, they don’t wait to be polite, they are just full of themselves. They are entirely natural: if they are upset they cry, scream even, they do not hold back, they just let it all out.

It takes a while for our babies to lose their naturalness. Kids find walking in a straight line quite tricky; they like to go this way and that, wriggle and jiggle, jump and skip, move their arms up and down, out and about. They just are, they do what they are impulsed to do. Slowly, slowly the ‘normal’ takes over – lines get straighter, the gait can alter to being heavy and slow or more agitated and hyperactive; whatever occurs, the movements alter. Slowly our movements and expressions are less free, less open, less full; it happens very gradually so as to not be noticed until we arrive at 18, ready for adulthood and how much of that natural baby remains is different for everyone.

Normal is just what a culture does more of and all cultures are different in what is considered normal. What normal guarantees is that what was natural is no longer lived.

"We should re-enter the word 'normal' in our dictionaries as -- Actions and or behaviours that the majority do, irrespective of whether it is right or wrong, true, healthy or not to one's beingness."

Serge Benhayon Esoteric Teachings & Revelations Volume II, ed 1, p 519

Society has often struggled with ‘different’ and people can become uncomfortable when others do not fit within the criteria of what has been established as normal. We have a tendency in today’s society to label what we have judged as different with a variety of disorders. What if we approached these differences by appreciating people’s unique expression and way of experiencing life? We could then accept them as they naturally are and embrace and support their needs, not as a condition that is abnormal but rather engage them as a diverse part of our society. This would then enrich all and remind us to be ourselves without inhibition and being restricted by the ‘norm’.

When we start to look at it more closely, this ‘normal’ is more of a disease/virus that eats away at our natural way of being. What would we be like if we stayed connected to our natural selves? What would you do, say, express if you were being natural?

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Self-esteemSelf-loveRaising childrenExpression

  • By Vanessa McHardy, MA Integrative Child Psychotherapist

    Vanessa loves to help young people and adults to have an understanding of how they learn and how they can express all of themselves in all areas of their lives. True learning is at the heart of Vanessa’s life in all ways.

  • Photography: Rebecca W., UK, Photographer

    I am a tender and sensitive woman who is inspired by the playfulness of children and the beauty of nature. I love photographing people and capturing magical and joyful moments on my camera.