From exhaustion to vitality: how my definition of ‘normal’ was challenged

It was in 2003 when I found myself writing to Serge Benhayon to share that I was finding things hard, I was suffering from exhaustion and had lost my vitality. I had recently attended a Sacred Esoteric Healing workshop in southern England and had now returned home to apply what I had connected to. I found myself unable to deny my complete exhaustion, continue my normal routine or access the vitality I had felt in my body at the end of that weekend and wanted to know why. It was about to become clear that the way I had been living and that I had taken as normal, was definitely not normal!

Serge shared simply and tenderly that if I kept going on the trajectory that I was on, I was likely to get chronic fatigue. He did not tell me that I had it or that I would get it, but simply that if I continued to make the choices I was making about how I was living then that was the way I was heading. I had no doubt he was right.

Before 2002 I had been to many psychics – always looking for guidance, and mostly tried to make the things that they suggested happen – yet here was a reading that I had not wanted to hear, that I did not want to come true, and yet I also knew I had the power within me to ensure it did not.

I allowed myself to feel the deep exhaustion that was there within my body. In that moment I understood why I was having dreams of collapsing in the supermarket and being happy to be in a coma. I knew my dreams were trying to tell me I was exhausted and wanted to rest ... but I didn’t know what to do about it. I was so used to saying yes to people that I was worried that they would not like me as much if I said no. If I had a medical excuse it would be easier to say no to people and rest. It seems insane when I think back to it now.

When Serge shared his reading with me something changed. I knew I had to make fresh choices to approach my life in a different way.

I had three young children aged 1, 3 and 5 – life was not slow. I was working as a Reiki practitioner and as an aromatherapist part time. Looking back now, I dread to think how I thought I could offer another what I clearly was not offering myself, yet I loved what I did.

I was actively involved in the school and local community volunteering and very busy with my extended family as well. I had made myself the ‘go-to’ person to get things done. To handle all of this I trained – I ran anything from 10km runs to marathons and played my childhood passion of tennis. I forgot to mention… I was married, but he got what was left over after everyone else. We were definitely heading for ‘splits-ville’ because there was simply not enough of me to go around.

Serge said what many others knew, but no one else seemed to think there was a choice; they all thought that what I was doing was completely normal for a young mother.

I realised it was time to step outside of what I had considered ‘normal’ and bring care for myself higher up the list of priorities.

Through many ups and downs, eleven years later, there is no sign of the deep exhaustion, chronic fatigue or any other illness related to my immune system. I work much harder than I did then, I exercise, am equally involved in my community and family, I am more in love with my husband than ever before and on the whole feel very vital and vibrant.

The biggest change for me is that I now have an acute radar for when I am tired and I don’t need to reach for any artificial stimulants such as sugar, alcohol, caffeine, drama or adrenaline! If I am tired, I want to feel it, not ignore it or push through it.

That is how I honoured the simple two-line reading Serge gave me eleven years ago. He gave me the wake-up call that I am sure my whole family appreciates; he gave me the stop that I needed to realise I was leading two lives – one for public viewing which was ‘perfect’, and one for the family which was a dried out grape.

Thank you Serge for giving me back to me with one simple reading that I chose to do something about. Understanding that exhaustion is not normal gave me an opportunity to feel vitality in my body and to build this as my new normal. Exhaustion is so last century!!

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  • By Lucy Dahill, Writer, office worker, student youth worker, practitioner and lover of life!