Letting go of mothering others: is this one of our signs of menopause?

Letting go of mothering others: is this one of our signs of menopause?

Is it possible that alongside any signs of the menopause there is actually a gorgeous time for women; a new phase where we are very graceful, deeply divine and extremely sexy? ...

The start of menopause is preceded by perimenopause – a natural period of readjustment from child bearing years into the depth and wisdom which sits just as equally within us, waiting to unfold. So if for many of us the start of the menopause heralds the onslaught of a myriad of dreaded perimenopausal symptoms, how could it be described as a time of graceful unfolding?

The Menopause is a vital part of our cycle of being a woman

It is a time where we can acknowledge and appreciate the wisdom we have acquired over the many years we have lived thus far and that lived experience becomes something we can lovingly offer and share with others. With this understanding of life also comes the knowing we can stand back, observe and have no attachment to whether another chooses to listen and act on the insights offered, thus allowing them to take responsibility for their own choices from that moment on.

  • Could this then potentially be a time when we let go of mothering others, especially our children in the way we have been and allow the natural passage into a more consultant role with them?
  • Undeniably, mothering in the early stages of a child’s life is essential, but is it possible there will be a certain stage when it is no longer needed in the same way and in fact, it can retard the child’s growth and development if we were to continue with it?

Menopause is a time when we can allow children to take more responsibility for themselves and therefore give them permission to grow up and live who they truly are.

Not being as involved so directly in children’s lives, also gives us time to focus on ourselves and deepen the quality of our own lives, which in turn deepens the quality of our interaction with our children.

Yet even when a woman chooses not to have children, it doesn’t mean that she doesn't mother others. Take for instance the wife who ‘mothers’ her husband or the woman who ‘mothers’ her friends or colleagues, watching over them, always making sure they have enough to eat or have sorted their finances or booked their dentist appointment. Simply looking at our immediate relationships we may see that ‘Mothering’ can be in any relationship where we are not allowing the space for another to take responsibility for themselves.

Do we take responsibility for our children or other people’s lives more readily than giving this loving gesture, care and attention to ourselves?

Whilst neglecting the care we could give to ourselves, could it be we feel better about ourselves by helping others – when in truth it may be preventing another from learning what they need to learn at that time?

There was a time I would lend my daughter money for her small business. This was okay when she first started out, but I continued to lend it to her in the ensuing years and she ended up in significant debt to me. I came to realize that I was doing this to be seen as a ‘good mum’. However, I also came to see that by lending her the money, she did not have to take responsibility for going over her purchasing budget, knowing that I would always lend her money.

Once I understood that I was not truly supporting her I stopped giving her money and asked her to pay back what she owed me within 6 months to a year. She immediately took more responsibility for her business and within 3 months it had expanded enough for her to pay me back in full. This was a clear reflection that mothering a grown child is not supportive but stunting.

Is it possible that, if we were to stop mothering others in the cycle of life we call the menopause, we would have more time and energy for ourselves?

Absolutely YES!

Menopause can most definitely be vibrant and joyous years in our life and it is well within our natural ability to create the type of life that we would love in this elder phase by truly embracing the signs of the menopause, and the elder consultant role that comes with it.

We can enjoy ourselves, have fun, express our beauty, explore our sexiness, and most of all, share this elder wisdom (a sign of the menopause) – not only with our immediate nuclear family and friends but also with all those that come into contact with us, thus widening our sphere of influence to embrace ALL within our elder consultant role.

"If you don’t stop ‘breastfeeding’ your children, they will not grow up."

Serge Benhayon Esoteric Teachings & Revelations Volume I, ed 1, p 542 </a>

Filed under

WisdomWomen's healthSexinessMenopauseAgeingElders

  • By Mary-Louise Myers, Women’s Health Practitioner