The ‘perfect’ birth … or the perfect birth for you?

A perfect birth – just random, or does each birth offer something unique?

The ‘perfect’ birth … or the perfect birth for you?

For some women when they become pregnant and prepare for childbirth there can be a picture of experiencing the perfect birth without considering the many factors that may impact on this event. Every woman has a unique body that is formed on a basic level well before birth and then develops in childhood and further as she grows through those years into the woman she becomes.

This body carries the imprints of all those years of how she was held in utero, of how she was born, of what she received as a baby, her early childhood, how she navigated primary school and how the teenage years unleashed her sense of liking herself or otherwise on into the grown woman that develops.

When each woman conceives a baby and gives birth, she does so within a body that has already lived uniquely through each and every tremendous life experience, and all of this leaves imprints which impact us in ways that we do not yet fully understand.

When it comes to childbirth, there is a pressure on women from outside to achieve something and to empower themselves via that experience. This is often coming from the ideals and beliefs of the culture the woman has been raised in and the people she is surrounded by, and thinking she needs the body to perform in a certain way on the day, without first considering the body’s multifaceted life in layers that is also going through this experience. It is an inescapable fact, yet we expect to have the perfect birth as we picture it, based typically on preparing the body on just one or two of these layers without any regard for, or understanding of, the rest. It doesn’t take into consideration that the body of the incoming baby is also equally bringing a power and a unique history to the shared experience.

Much birth preparation offered to support women to give birth uses positioning, postures, muscle relaxation, and subconscious mind techniques which look at us at best as two dimensional beings: body and mind. It’s well accepted there is a connection between body and mind, yet we are far more than the thoughts in our brains and the visceral nature of our body.

The cervix itself, a key player in the progress of the birth process, is composed of both smooth muscle and the underacknowledged connective tissue, which has varying textures, thickness and flexibility. It performs and responds very uniquely for each woman and this can’t be predicted in advance or understood just in terms of mechanics from muscles and the tissues that connect them, which is how it is currently presented as part of birth preparation.

We know that the cervix has to dilate fully to allow safe passage of the baby through the vagina and out into the world, yet we pay little to no attention to the previous sexual experiences of the mother, to how she feels about herself in this area and in general, how she has been treated as a woman, and to how willing and able she is to surrender to this awe-inspiring process.

Is it possible that because we have so deeply forgotten the depth of who we are, we choose to ignore the other layers and dimensions of ourselves? Is it these other layers that we need to also pay much attention to as they too impact on us, inescapably so?

We have emotional imprints from our past experiences and we have levels of standard ‘operating tension’ throughout the body, which can interfere with our ability to let go and give birth when the time comes. We have the pictures we hold and the ideas of what we think we need to achieve in birth and the beliefs we carry. We have the layers of protection we have learned to shed, or not… thinking they will keep us safe, or knowing they will not…

Conversely, we have the power of full surrender in the body, knowing we are safer in letting go of the holding on. We have the connection to our incredible sacredness; a connection that is centred on the cervix and which can open up and flower in full when we are pregnant and give birth.

The way forward for us as women is to celebrate whatever is released and experienced in childbirth, as it all talks to us about where we have been, what we are holding on to, what we are letting go of, what we are healing and what there is still to move through.

There is also to be considered the combination of people in the room on the day, all in some way impacting the experience, sometimes with sensitivity and other times less so, but still influencing the experience on levels that can be obvious and direct, or more subtle and not seen.

It is apparent that focussing on predetermined outcomes without full consideration of how we have been living with our imprints doesn’t work. It denies this inescapable truth:

Everything is the result of the type and the quality of the flow of energy.

Serge Benhayon Esoteric & Exoteric Philosophy, ed 1, p 415

Birth preparation can be seen in a whole new light if the energy is considered also. It becomes about preparing to surrender more deeply to healing what becomes apparent during each pregnancy, knowing each pregnancy holds a different point for us in our own growth and evolution, a different baby with a different energy, and we can’t expect or need the experience to be the same as another’s, or even the same as our own.

There is no ‘perfect’ birth, just as there is no perfect life, for:

We are here to learn. We are not here to be perfect.

Serge Benhayon Esoteric Teachings & Revelations Volume III, ed 1, p 196

Each experience where a baby is born needs to be celebrated for what it is, uniquely for that mother and baby. There is a need to appreciate the experience for what it offers, the possibility of growth and expansion in its wake, the true and only purpose for birth on this earth.

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BirthPregnancyHuman bodyCaesarean

  • Photography: Clayton Lloyd