A child is not a child
PRINT PAGE
A child is not a child
What is the true relationship between an adult and a child? Are adults wiser than those we see as children? Not necessarily so.
Over dinner on a recent holiday, I sat opposite a seven-year-old person positioned next to her mother. We each read the menu and ordered food. She read the menu and knew exactly what she wanted to eat: lamb chops and chips. She also ordered a glass of orange juice. As we sat eating over dinner, I observed a wise being in a child’s body, at ease with herself. She ate her meal with focus and absolute enjoyment.
I observed the person sitting opposite me was not a child, in the typical way children are perceived to be.
Because of the relationship between the mother and the child, she responded to all others as her equals, a rare thing to observe. She did not look at the sizes or shapes of the bodies of the people she was interacting with but was simply responding to who she was with.
I also observed in this young lady a delightful inner-assuredness. Returning from an early morning walk by the sea, with her mother and I, she knew the way back. She did not take the same path we took going down to the beach, but said ‘Let’s go this way’. She walked up and in front of us with an ease and joy as she sensed her way through scrub that took us back to the road and villa. She was very joyful leading the way for us. Beautiful to observe.
The significance of this is huge.
A child who sits around a dinner table where her presence is so very different to millions of other children around the world – fully present and at ease in her body, confident, wise and funny. Not once did she seek attention for attention’s sake and made no demands on the adults. The adults spoke with her in exactly the same way as they spoke to each other. She responded equally and matched the other bodies around the table. The expression ‘being grown up,’ is one that intimates that grown-ups are different to those who are ‘yet to grow up’, fell flat on its face here. It simply did not apply. We were all grown-ups, including the one in the yet to be fully formed body.
The assumption ‘grown ups’ are more knowledgeable than children, know what they are doing, have got it all together is a fallacy.
Many people in grown up bodies have not ‘grown-up’. A physically fully formed body can experience life with insecurities, hurts, doubts, expectations, comparison and jealousy.
The opposite of this is true also - a person in a small body yet to be fully physically formed is not ‘small’, they are giants in small bodies and can experience and connect to universal wisdom, intelligence and love. And when supported to be all that they are can communicate with anyone with complete ease.
This person in a seven-year-old body was sensitive, wise and expressed herself naturally with the adults in the group.
"Are we family by the impulse of God’s field of Love, Truth and Wisdom or are we family by the intelligence of the One Lie, that we are only human, and the multiple lies that subsequently found all manner of being human thereafter? And where has that pranic form of love got us? What ‘family’ is truly free of imposition? Are we producing exemplary well-rounded, un-affected and un-impacted children in all corners of the world or are there only pockets of this type of fortune?"
Serge Benhayon There is a Field of Immeasurable Love, Episode One, ed 1, p 121-122
When I could not find my gold and diamond bracelet, and wanted to search for it, she was the one that said, ‘I’ll help you find it, we need to look under the table’. And when we stopped the car to return to the restaurant to look for it, she said, ‘I’ll come with you’. Walking down the road towards the restaurant, I felt the love and holding presence of this person. She was sensitive, she sensed that I was upset and without sympathy communicated through movements and words, ‘Don’t worry, we’ve got this covered.’ The bracelet was found later, not in the restaurant but at the villa where we were staying.
What was communicated to me through the body of a seven-year-old was this, do not be concerned, this is in God’s hands, and he will deliver it back to you, or not. Either way it will be by design.
What I observed also, in the young lady was her preparation of a fruit salad for herself: she chose a bowl and fruits. Assistance only needed from her mother to remove the peel of a watermelon, everything else was her domain. She arranged the fruit in a bowl undisturbed by what was going on around her. Her self-assuredness beautiful to witness.
When we count years, we say this person has occupied this body for seven years and only has seven years of life experience. When we look at the greater picture, we might accept this soul has lived multiple lives before this incarnation and brings with it the experience and wisdom of all previous lives. All children are grand beings, not ‘small’ children.
We could ask what was the nature of parenting received by this person? What relationship does she have with her parents?
Let´s see how her mother answered this question:
‘The perception of a small body as a child that needs to learn and gather experience is an expectation that is put on many children. The being is complete at any stage of their life. Many people feel that when they hold or see a new-born baby. A very natural connection that tells you that there is more than what is keeping us busy every day. This connection has guided me being by her side while she has been growing up. Her body communicated how to parent her and what is the next step even when she had not been able to talk yet.
The picture we have of how children have to behave is an imposition on their evolution and it is the complete opposite of their innate beingness. A lot of children will adapt to that picture if they are not offered to show the wisdom of their soul. I had to learn to truly listen and have been often amazed by her expression.’
A later conversation between her mother and me in the car on the way home expressed much about this way of parenting. When I suggested a walk early the following morning, she said it would depend on her daughter and when she wakes up – ‘I like to be there in the morning when she wakes up and start her day together with her’. Equally, in the evenings, she would be with her most of the time to have dinner together and bring her to bed and complete the day. ‘It is not the length of time I spend with her that matters, as she goes to school and I work and study, it is the quality of time together’.
Her remark registered deeply in one who as a child was parented by one who was not there in the morning when she woke up or went to bed. My mother was either on many business trips and left her children in the care of their grandmother or nannies. When I was seven, the person who gave birth to me abandoned me, left me and my siblings in England in the care of ‘guardians’ unknown to us and returned to live many thousands of miles away to the place of our birth. At seven years old I believed adults to be gods above and greater than myself. I was shy, inhibited, unable to express or hold a conversation with or feel equal to any adult. This cultivated a person in a ‘grown-up’ body who felt small inside and harboured multiple insecurities. Rarely did I experience my innate grandness, that comes from living with universal intelligence, wisdom and love we all naturally are.
A child only remains a child when custodians of their care, parents, teacher and family members treat the person in the yet to be fully formed body as something that can be controlled, manipulated, abused, spoken harshly or down to, crushed as being not as intelligent, or worthy as themselves.
In the opposite, there are also parents, teachers and family members that may pander to their children and spoil them for example with gifts, or placations, or lack of discipline. If we agree that a child enters the world pure, then by definition the role of the parent or carer is an honouring one in all aspects. If a child is indulged, or diminished, or not cared for, their later wellbeing in life may be impacted in many ways.
The quality of life lived as an adult is impacted by the quality we have been living throughout our life. Nothing happens by accident. Each footstep is the foundation for the next and the next. Parenting a young being in a body from the moment they are born is a sacred responsibility. Cherish, nurture and adore the true being before us, or we miss the trillions of opportunities to ensure the being before us never loses connection with their true essence beyond the physical body.
Filed under
Education, Family, Parenting, Raising children
