Step-by-Step out of Post-natal Depression
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Step-by-Step out of Post-natal Depression
After giving birth to my first child, I was clinically depressed and experienced signs of psychosis as well. This was a very terrifying experience for me. I can now reflect on how I walked out of that harrowing time.
At my worst, I was having very strong thoughts of ending my life; they would grip me and I felt like I was a zombie on auto-pilot. I was scared I could not make decisions to keep myself safe. I was having nightmares that were so real that when I woke I did not trust that what I was seeing was real anymore. I was exhausted and constantly agitated and no longer stable in my mental health. My relationship with my partner was falling apart very quickly and although he was trying to be supportive, I was very difficult to be around and he became very unsure of how to manage my moods.
I had never felt this out of control in my life, and I was scared and could not see how it would end. All the while I had a baby to care for and this terrified me even more.
Coming out of this depression was not easy and I had a lot of support to do so.
It started with my mother taking me to a GP doctor who said very caringly, ‘You don’t have to feel this way’ and reviewed my hormone levels to ensure nothing physically or medically was contributing to my state of mind.
Next (from my father’s guidance) I started walking up the long driveway at their home every morning. It was the beginning of me committing to caring for my body again.
I received kidney massages from my step-mother (who had completed Sacred Esoteric Healing courses), and this support instantly stopped my thoughts of self-harm.
I also starting seeing Universal Medicine practitioners for healing sessions which were literally life-changing, as this deeply supported me to restore me back from exhaustion and also to commit to life again, learning to embrace the chapter of life I was in, and letting go of the things that were making me feel like ‘it was all too hard’ or ‘I couldn’t do it’.
I was beginning to feel a sense of stability again and was no longer scared. I was caring for my son, exercising and connecting with people, but the depressed feelings lingered – everything felt monotonous and I was flat in my mood most days.
Around the time when my child was nine months old, I went and saw a psychologist who worked at the Universal Medicine clinic and we discussed my feelings since having a child. The psychologist very lovingly offered the option of me returning to work as the next part of my recovery from depression. (This was huge, as my partner lived interstate for work and I had gone through such a huge ordeal since giving birth.)
I wanted to say, ‘No, I can’t, it is too much’, but the way it was offered, I could not discount it.
I commenced looking at work options and this ignited me, I felt like I had more energy, more vitality all of a sudden. I completed/updated my resumé, applied for jobs and was offered a position within a few weeks.
I connected with the psychologist again and explained that I was due to start a new job soon. The psychologist was so impressed that I had taken on board the opportunity but more so with the vitality and purpose that I deserve in life.
Re-engaging in work was a focus and structure I needed and to remember who I am beyond my role as a mother. This was all very refreshing and restorative for me. And my child loved being with other children and people, as they are naturally very social beings. It was a great move for us both.
With my new vitality I could see clearer as to how to parent and care for myself and my child, specific to my child, to my job, to my body type, etc. I felt my confidence grow and this brought a sense of self-worth, which led to more care of myself and my child which led to feeling more rejuvenated, so we could start having fun again.
For me, depression is a depletion of our energy (because we have lost it along the way) and we then give up on life because it feels too hard to keep walking. To come out of this state, we need to restore our energy with the harmonious factors of committing to life bit-by-bit in all aspects and receiving support that replenishes our energy, not drains it.
On a day-to-day basis this can look different for different people, but having the space with the Universal Medicine modalities offers a foundation where we can get to know what truly supports us and what purpose actually is for us.
People cannot live without purpose first and foremost, and living in the world is not easy, so we need things that support ourselves to not get exhausted, and be fit and able to stay committed across all the chapters of life.
Parenting is a purpose, relationships are a purpose, work is a purpose, being present and committing to all things we do in life is a purpose. Deeply caring for ourselves is an essential ingredient in all of this.
Filed under
Depression, Healing, Pregnancy
