Withdrawal and Ghosting

The chatter in our heads is often such a strong driving force and so familiar we think it’s us guiding us, but is it really our truth? How often do we pause and ask – where are these thoughts coming from? If we reflect for a moment a lot of these thoughts come from how we are living, from outside influences like the family environment, education, religion and government . . . or anything we allow to be imposed upon us.

When do we stop and ask, do any of these thoughts match what is within our hearts?

Some might recall being young and feeling an innate sense of their own loveliness, joy and a lightness of simply being. An innate sense of inner awareness, and might it be suggested even worthiness, a depth of self worth that has nothing to do with the external false sense of worth and confidence that we become familiar with later as the imposed experiences of life filter down. We switch from what we know into what we are told we should ‘know’, therefore the self we grow into is moulded through our then tainted experiences in relationships with others, involvements in education, government, religious systems and the like – systems that want to shape and control us into who they think we should be, rather than supporting us to be who we truly are, and us to take responsibility to support ourselves.

There is a popular way to manage these external influences and that is to say ‘no’ by pulling back and withdrawing from impositions that aren’t agreed with and don’t sit well. This is a seeming way to cut the influence, but is this a reaction that causes us to distance ourselves from relationships, employment and communities in general, and then becomes a form of withdrawal?

When we withdraw from communicating and expressing in life this leads to isolation from people: we have a current situation where complete and sudden withdrawal in relationships is known as ghosting, but are we ‘ghosting’ in many ways, on many different levels, in everyday life?

‘Our head chatter enforces our assumed inalienable right to choose and stay isolated’

Micro ghosting is even happening in our own homes. A way we’re all familiar with is when we go to separate rooms with our faces in devices, earphones in, all barriers to shut others out and withdraw into our preferred world. The head chatter enforces the assumed inalienable right to choose this and stay isolated. This happens in public and workplaces too and it’s considered normal – it’s a new epidemic and we go along with it. In fact withdrawal is used as a form of protection and disconnection from feeling what is going on around us in everyday living, and how we are living globally.

So should we go along and pretend withdrawing from each other is okay, or do we pause for a moment, and wonder where is the light joyful essence we once lived?

The simple answer is, it is still within – gone nowhere, just waiting for the moment we re-connect to our essence and say ‘I know you, I feel you’ and none of the other stuff is greater than being connected to our unique essence.

We are born a living miracle; everybody feels (just about) and appreciates the essence of a newborn. What could be the possibilities if we were to hold this essence through our lives and not withdraw – what could be the potential of each life? This is where miracles start to happen – there is an alchemy that can start to support life when we discern where we are deriving our thoughts from.

It is marvellous that we can all live to our potential and it’s not a fanciful dream. It can be as simple as staying connected, or for some, to reconnect to their essence, and when staying committed with this then there is no need to withdraw.

We innately have all we need to be the light and joy through the day and night – a very precious and deeply needed service that the whole world needs, and when one bright spark shines we never know who might take the initiative and join in.

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Self-worthEssenceRelationship problems

  • By Sandra Williamson, Hairdresser

    Re-connecting to living what is natural to me brings simplicity, lightness and vitality to my everyday. One of the many added bonuses is learning and discovering everything with a sense wonder. I love living this way.

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