Menopause: the myths of being invisible

Menopause Myths – the reality behind feeling ‘invisible’

Menopause: the myths of being invisible

One of the myths around menopause is that it’s a sort of cut off point after which time a woman has reached her ‘sell-by date’ and becomes obsolete. Though I’ve found this couldn’t be further from the truth ...

Many women say they dreaded menopause, and some even denied it was happening because they’d heard such negative things about it, like: turning into wrinkly, fat, mentally woolly and emotionally unstable versions of their former selves and gradually becoming invisible members of society. Which for many women this ‘invisibility’ is their definite reality.

Tell-tale signs of ‘menopausal invisibility' ...

You may notice:

  • Some of your interactions with younger people have taken on a slightly dismissive flavour
  • No one is really noticing you any longer walking down the street
  • Haste and indifference (that wasn’t there before) in interactions with men – the feeling that they are trying to get through the transaction with you as quickly as possible!
  • No longer being a sexual option (not being in the ‘gene pool game’) [hard if your sense of worth is largely based on your attractiveness to the opposite sex]

At first I thought, and as a woman in her 50’s who’s gone through menopause, all this was to do with aging, but then I spoke with a very attractive friend who went through menopause in her late thirties who said she too had started to feel ‘invisible’.

So what is this ‘Invisibility’ really about?

Perhaps it could actually be more to do with an ‘energetic communication’ we as women emanate as our reproductive cycle slows down and comes to cessation. This makes sense to me since at this time we are indeed in ‘transition’, and so herein lies an opportunity naturally being offered by our own body for a new cycle to occur: one in which we can establish connection to our deeper self, with the reproductive energies in our bodies now no longer cycling through our systems sending out a subliminal call to be fertilised. No Longer a Mating Call.

Our society is so acutely focussed on, entrenched in and identified with the glamour of physical beauty, desirability and the allure of youth. Many of our products and activities reflect this world-wide obsession and the value we place on ‘looking young and beautiful’, when really this period of peak physical beauty and ‘youthfulness’ is based on the need to reproduce, in essence a ‘mating call’ – which in reality represents only ONE cycle of a woman’s life.

So wouldn’t it naturally be that as a woman steps out of her reproductive years she no longer fits in with this societal indoctrinated way of being and starts to get the ‘feedback’ of being invisible?

What if?:

  • This is a 1-2 year transition of adjustment only
  • That during this time this ‘invisibility’ can actually be a choice that affords the woman the space to really connect with herself, her deeper feelings, rhythms and the profound beauty within her body that has nothing to do with the outside world
  • The woman does not take on any self-judgment or anxiety and does not buy the myth by feeling useless or unattractive at this stage of her life
  • She no longer feels the need to over compensate, to prove something, or starts to be overactive out of the fear that she is losing something precious – i.e. her usefulness, youth or desirability

Then this maturing transition could offer instead a natural time of pulling back and deepening self-reflection. In fact, menopause is a time to discover something truly precious – US.

"What is within can only be seen when it is lived and expressed.
If it is said that women suffer 'invisibility' as they 'get older' then it is they who have contracted away from the immense beauty that eternally dwells within. "

Serge Benhayon

Celebrating Our Vital Return to Wisdom ...

As we pass through the menopause transition and begin to honour and celebrate this time, as opposed to settling for society’s label of ‘past it’, we can stand as a deeper, fuller us, with all that we are and all that we know as an offering to others.

Feeling and knowing our age and wisdom are invaluable; that we have something to say and in this discover people approach and speak with us more often, noticing our vivacity, finding this inspiring! OR some may choose to not connect or be dismissive, finding that the depth of self and wisdom (from no longer fitting the societal boxes of how a woman at this stage ought to be) just too confronting.

Claiming our Wisdom as Elders ...

So it is up to us all individually as women to not give in to any societal messages that we are obsolete, that we are over, unattractive and have nothing to offer, but instead to claim a responsibility to ‘give back’ as true elders of our generation - a power, a wisdom, a knowing and a stillness, (developing detachment and self-knowledge) as we go about our daily lives and not be invisible! It is up to us to bust the menopausal myths and stand in our offering of all of who we are.

For as maturing women we have SO much beauty and wisdom to offer.

Filed under

MenopauseWisdomWomen's healthBeauty mythsAgeingEldersSex appeal

  • By Josephine Bell, Cert IV Massage, Certificate Counselling, Cert III Children’s Services

    Mature woman, partner, friend, writer, editor, lover of the ancient wisdom, people and nature. My particular interest long-term has been women’s health and wellbeing, and what it is to live as a true woman in the world today.