Most of us have experienced jealousy at some stage in our lives. Sometimes we have dished it out ourselves and other times it has been served to us. Jealousy is everywhere: in families between partners, parents to children, between siblings; in the workplace between employees, with their bosses and with competitors; in schools between students, between teachers and pupils, amongst staff and so on. But have we asked ourselves what jealousy actually is? It has become so rife in our human interactions that rarely have we stopped to really feel the full effect of this force and consider deeply the impact it has on our bodies and our beings, and the crippling effect it can have in our lives and on those around us.

Jealousy has been erroneously understood as simply wanting what another has; a bigger car, a better house, a prettier face, a more toned body and so on - but how many of us have truly let ourselves feel what is at play on a deeper level? That is, that jealousy is not about mere possessions or superficial attributes but about the choices we have made and the quality of light that we emanate as a result.

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Where jealousy begins

We hate jealousy, it is a destructive force and it starts in our families.

Jealousy begins with the recognition that another is living a greater degree of their light than that which we are choosing to live. It is not that they have more light, it is that they are making choices that support their greater expression of it. And so jealousy is the fury that comes with knowing that we haven’t done what needed to be done, and with avoiding responsibility for this and owning that it is that way by our own choice, and our own choice alone.

Jealousy is thus born from a refusal to take responsibility for our past choices – itself an attempt to avoid the deep pain of knowing that we have chosen to dismiss and walk away from our true selves; it shows us that when we choose to not live the fullness of all that we are, we leave ourselves wide open to be filled with and hence live, all that we are not.

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Jealousy explained in 15 seconds

How jealousy arises from our choices.

Jealousy applies to us

Jealousy is one of the most destructive forces on Earth, attacking both the one wielding it and the one receiving it. When the force comes through us, it is aimed at ‘annihilating’ those who we find an unbearable reflection for serving as a reminder of us not choosing to hold our light, stand for truth and live the love that we are in essence.

Often when we read of this destructive force and self-fury we think that does not apply to us and underestimate just how much we are ALL harmed and held back by jealousy whether expressing it or receiving it.

We instinctively feel when others are jealous of us and very often the interaction all happens on a sub-conscious energetic level. We make ourselves less, try to fit in and do not shine to spare ourselves from the assault. Some even work hard to become very successful in their chosen field so they only receive envy and get praised for what they do rather than bear the brunt of the jealousy that will come their way if they shine for who they truly are.

We often choose to not be aware when we express jealousy or feel the self-fury. Sometimes even when we are ‘inspired’ by another, we have a self-critical part that remains uncomfortable with the reflection that person or situation offers. And so energetically the force comes through us - sometimes under the pretence of being ‘nice’ in an attempt to not feel the desolation of our own choices. It is here that jealousy is the most poisonous, for what has been wielded, perhaps unwittingly, as a weapon to destroy another ultimately serves as our own undoing. By bullying another in an attempt to have them reject their light, we obliterate the connection we have to our own light. Jealousy in this sense, as so aptly described by Shakespeare, is like a ‘green-eyed monster that doth mock the meat it feeds on’.

From the history of the word we learn that…

The word jealousy comes from the French word jalousie, derived from jaloux meaning keen, zealous, jealous via the Late Latin zelosus, from zelus meaning ‘zeal’. The Latin zelus, in turn, comes from the Greek word zelos, meaning ‘jealousy’ but also ‘emulation, ardour, zeal’.

The intertwining of the meanings ‘jealous’ and ‘zealous’ with each other over the word’s history reveals an important facet of the definition of the word itself: that is, jealousy is a force; the relation with zeal reflects the forceful, quite intense nature of its energetic quality. The Greek word zelos comes from a root word meaning ‘to boil, ferment or yeast’, and this again intimates an intensity – these are all actions, after all, which denote the building up of something to such an extent, that a change in state then occurs, as in the transformation from water to steam. Zelos also referred to the desire to emulate, that is, to be like another or to have or obtain something others have – and thus, the root of its modern meaning is found here.

In time, the word jealousy came to indicate feelings of resentment or bitterness against a rival because of his or her success. It also came to denote feelings of envy, apprehension, suspicion or fear of rivalry as well as fear of being supplanted or of losing a loved one, affection or position. In all of these cases, the connotations are to do with seeing or judging oneself in relation to others – that is, comparison with others, rather than holding oneself as equal to and with all others in the world.

The eagerness and desire to be where another stands and or have what another has, are emotions that literally and metaphorically ‘boil’ within us – bubbling, brewing, multiplying and intensifying as they begin to pervade our every thought and mould our every move. Again, the energy and intensity of the related ‘zeal’ is reflected in this image of boiling and fermenting. At the core of these ‘fermenting’ emotions is sheer resentment and bitterness erroneously taken out on another that we are led to believe is the enemy when really, through our own self-fury, we are making enemies of ourselves.

Jealousy is the indicator of the deep pain we carry for having separated from our essence - our light, our truth, our love - while others shine in the fullness of theirs. It is the expression of the devastation held deeply within, for not choosing to be all that we are.

"The jealousy of a sister or a brother, from a friend or a neighbour, simply comes from the fact that they do not love themselves enough. That contraction is enough for the spirit within to experience a jealousy as a result of comparing themselves to you from their emptiness. That's how jealousy works, and how it happens and where it comes from. The same can be said of all other ill expressions right up to the vilest and most evil and horrendous expression. Through emptiness – evil expresses."

Serge Benhayon The Way of Initiation, p 174

The destructive force of jealousy

Often when we are on the receiving end of the self-fury of another, we immediately sense it and recoil. Whether consciously or unconsciously, we mould ourselves by way of moderating our expression to avoid drawing attention to ourselves and hence feeling the force of the fury coming our way. That is, we dim our light just enough so as not to be seen by others, as it was a glimpse of this bright light that attracted the attacking force of jealousy to us in the first place.

Thus, one of the tragedies of jealousy is that we are made to think that there is something ‘wrong’ with us when we are just being who we innately are. As a result, we exist in a world where it has become the socially accepted ‘norm’ to not shine too brightly amongst others, lest we be attacked. It is as if we are born with our light on full beam and then gradually throughout our childhood, into our teens and beyond, we learn to moderate this expression by way of dimming that light the same way we would dim the lights in our house.

This process has devastating consequences, and inevitably leads to our current situation in which the entire world is hiding from who we are by deliberately holding back, not bringing our all to everything and making ourselves less as a preventative measure so as to avoid the absolute trauma of having others, particularly those we care about, turn on us.

And so instead, we turn on ourselves and on each other and choose to live our lives a million miles from who we truly are, not willing to go anywhere near our true essence, for we live in the trauma of the energetic assault of jealousy that bombarded us when we did live that truth.

Therefore, it is our responsibility to understand exactly what this force is and how it plays out in our lives. Seeing jealousy for what it is, is the first step to releasing ourselves from the stranglehold of such an evil and bullying force.

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Jealousy is one of our deepest scars

How the force of jealousy tries to hold us back from being who we truly are.

The antidote to jealousy

The antidote to jealousy is to see it clearly and call it out for what it is.

Acceptance, understanding and appreciation are all factors in freeing ourselves from the force of jealousy. Jealousy comes from not accepting our past choices. We have a fresh choice each moment and can choose to bring understanding to the position we find ourselves in now and make new choices. If another is in a more favourable position due to their past choices then this is actually something to celebrate as it provides an inspiring reflection and supports us in our ability to understand and make more loving choices.

To let go of our investment in others seeing and accepting our loving reflection means we are better able to see and thus call out jealousy for what it is. When we do this, no longer are we owned by a force that has no place within a body of love.

As a final thought, despite the horrendous nature of jealousy and the utterly unpleasant feeling of this energy directed toward us, the experience of jealousy from another is, after all, a confirmation that we are in fact living our love and truth, and reflecting that to the world.

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What is jealousy and how to stop it

How evolved we are (also known as initiations) is related to the choices we have made. Rather than being jealous of people who have made choices we wish we had but didn’t, we have an opportunity to appreciate their choices and them for showing us another way.

"It is utterly arrogant and utterly ignorant to compare with any other or others, for you do not know all that is and has been with that person in all manners of choice over thousands of lifetimes, both in the physical and before that. Therefore, it is a grand illusion to compare with another and it is the most destructive of all expressions that have undone many great works and many potentially great groups. Forget not that it was comparison that led the Second Degree Initiate Judas to act under the emotion of jealousy, which led to the total undoing of an otherwise greater time in the hands of a true World Teacher. Is this not significant and rather exposing of how powerfully separative and thus destructive this spiritual emotion is?"

Serge Benhayon A Treatise on Consciousness, p 283

Further Reading and Listening

In the end it all comes down to what energy is running us. Everything is because of energy is a free audio that presents why the because is so critical and what is means in our everyday life.

"If one were to be interested in why the men and women of this world can at times act so vile, wicked, angry, jealous and violent etc, and thus so harm-full, then one should look no further than the light or energy one is in, for if everything is energy, why would one look anywhere but in the energy that maketh one to be?"

Serge Benhayon The Living Sutras of the Hierarchy, p 250

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