Mothering, me and Serge Benhayon

Mothering, me and Serge Benhayon

I have been a mother for the last 11 years and am blessed with 2 children. As I watch them grow I have been reflecting on what has influenced me to become the mother I am. I have read numerous books, articles, watched many documentaries and movies and had loads of discussions with mothers about what mothering is and how to be the best mother ever!

I often laugh about some of the advice that I took on and shake my head at other advice I adopted. There was one book on attachment parenting that I read during pregnancy that advised me to carry my baby in a sling for the first 6 weeks of her life. She would be with me every moment and thus know without a doubt that I was there for her. I guess the theory was that she lived attached to me while in utero so this should continue.

So I tried it because I so desperately wanted to be a good mother and one that was providing the best environment for my baby to thrive. The picture they espoused in this parenting book was certainly very different to the reality. Carrying my baby non-stop left me feeling exhausted! My back ached, I longed for some time to myself and I have to admit I became a little resentful of my gorgeous bundle of joy because she was always with me! Funny thing was she had no choice in the matter, I chose to do this to ensure I was the best mother I could be. I hated myself for feeling so drained and resentful and realised it was time to stop.

Interestingly the truest wisdom I have received on mothering has not come from a mother but come from a man. That man is Serge Benhayon and through his presentations I learnt the common sense, yet rarely spoken about principle that to truly love, nurture and care for another I needed to first love, nurture and care for myself.

I remember reading a passage in one of Serge’s books that blew all my ideals and beliefs about mothering apart.

"You were not born a mother nor a housewife. You were born a woman first and foremost and you must give true life to that in all honour, love, nurturing and cherishing. That fuller more self-loved woman will then best express as a mother and as a housewife and thus not be so depleted all the time and thus run down and in self-loathing from exhaustion."

Serge Benhayon The Way of Initiation, pg 216

This was GOLD!

I began to re-connect to my inner knowing, my essence and found the more I took loving care of myself as a woman the more loving, caring and nurturing my expression as a mother became. My relationship with my children changed, it was now based on equality rather than putting them on a pedestal and meeting their every need and whim in complete disregard of myself.

The more I reconnected to myself the more I began to trust myself as a mother. I stopped reading parenting books as my need for external advice declined. My life began to confirm this truth:

"Learn to love yourself in full and that love will parent your children like no other parenting can."

Serge Benhayon Esoteric Teachings & Revelations, pg 474

My experience of mothering has deepened so much, since those first 6 weeks. I can honestly say without the teachings of Serge Benhayon I would still be on the same merry-go-round of adopting external advice to ensure that I was the best mother ever!

I can attest from my lived experience that to mother from my inner knowing is the truest and most fulfilling way to be a mother. In fact, the truths I have shared above, and those I read in the books, are the truths I have always known, but just didn’t live before. I have been inspired through and by Serge to connect back to what has always been there, within me. And my parenting has blossomed as a result from living this known truth – this is a true joy.

So I leave you with another truth from Serge Benhayon …

"It is wiser to mother from your innate knowing rather than from the ideals and beliefs that flood your head."

Serge Benhayon Esoteric Teachings and Revelations, pg 547
  • By Bianca Barban, Registered Nurse

    Avid reader