Look closely ... now look even closer ... who is running who? Who is in charge?

A sharing by Otto about his experiences with Sacred Esoteric Healing

Look closely ... now look even closer ... who is running who? Who is in charge?

There is an exercise that I tried a while back (and still often use). Think about your day, any day (and when I say think, I mean really deeply and honestly.)

  • Think about your day
  • All the decisions you made
  • The choices you made
  • What you did
  • What you said
  • What you looked at
  • Where you went . . .

. . . all those thousands of choices that you made in the one day.

If you are truly, deeply honest – and if you are anything like I was – you will see that almost every single one of those choices or decisions were made or induced by an external force . . . by the life you are living.

When I say external force, the list for me was, and still sometimes is, very long and very varied:

  • The obvious ones like; time, the stresses of life, advertising, money . . .

  • The less obvious ones like; my peers, my ambitions, the roles I take on as a father, a husband, the bread-winner, a boss, a friend . . .

  • Then the harder ones to be honest about like; my need for recognition, my sadness, emptiness, frustration . . . and . . .

Then the big one . . . my deep hurt at not living my truth.

All of these forces are exactly that. Forces. Pushing and pulling me in ways that are not actually me, for none of these are who I truly am. So, if they are making the decisions for me, then it is not me who is running my life, it is my life that is running me.

Now, thanks to the support I have had from Sacred Esoteric Healing and a willingness and courage on my part to see the bigger picture and to make the choice every moment of every day, to live my life, to the best of my ability, from my truth, that is changing. It is an ever evolving process and I still revert to the old patterns plenty of times.

But, in essence, I now run my life. The choices I am making come from me.

Not the 'external me'.

Not the 'public me'.

Not the 'father me', the 'husband me', the 'television director me'.

. . . but from me.

That is in absolute simplicity what Sacred Esoteric Healing is all about.

Filed under


  • By Otto Bathurst, Film Director

    Committed to re-discovering and re-connecting to the tenderness, fragility and humility that are the strengths that make a true man.