Meeting Natalie Benhayon
Meeting Natalie Benhayon
Looking back on my life I would say that generally I felt ill at ease, living under a carefully presented image that said I had it all worked out.
In denial of the many hurts I was carrying, I was anxious about ‘being myself ‘and worried about what others thought of me. Quietly running the show was an unarticulated belief that I simply wasn’t good enough. No matter that I owned my own home or had many friends or that I was ‘successful’ at work, I still felt inadequate. I had hardened myself up in protection against my hurts and fears of life and was riddled with self-doubt, self-judgment and critique. I was also trapped by the pictures we are sold in life about what it means to be a woman. I knew this model of life was simply not working for me, but I had no idea what the alternative was.
When I was a child, I would look out at the world and be very confused by the behaviour of adults and others around me. I didn’t get the harshness of their conversation or the way they could be so easily dismissive. Eventually, the only conclusion I could draw was that the fault must have been with myself and so began the feeling that I must be less, and a familiarity with being sad at what I saw and felt developed.
In my early thirties I encountered Universal Medicine and The Ageless Wisdom teachings and I started letting go of those hurts I was carrying. Life began to make much more sense as everything started to come into perspective and I felt confirmed for who I truly was.
Meeting Natalie Benhayon added a whole new dimension to my understanding of what it truly means to be a woman and what it means to self-nurture. There have been so many moments of inspiration through simple observations, presentations, workshops and one to one sessions I have attended with Natalie over the years that it is hard to pick one to focus on and say “that was a turning point for me”. They have all been remarkable, affirming and have sat quietly, percolating and building in strength so that a foundation of increasing inner connection has been building, supporting a suppleness with my relationship with myself, and with life. Natalie has been such an amazing reflection for what is possible to live in my own life; that is, to reflect naturally being me – with no apology.
One moment that does stand out for me at a Universal Medicine workshop was simply observing Natalie as she walked. There was a depth of power she was emanating that was utterly striking. The openness, ease and grace I could feel from her body was simply gorgeous. I could feel the dedication and commitment she had to herself, to life and in service to others.
Natalie is definitely all woman – curves, power, delicacy, gentleness, grace, wisdom, sassiness, joy, love, warmth and so many other qualities! There is a quiet authority that emanates with her every movement. She has always inspired me to keep going, to keep being open, to keep nominating and letting go of what doesn’t belong, to keep surrendering, to keep expressing, to keep loving, and to keep making self-loving choices.
This has expanded my awareness, understanding and love for myself and others, and I can say that I am much more observant of life and far, far less in reaction to what life throws at me. An equanimity has developed, and it is gorgeous to go through the week being more able to take things in my stride and to feel much more emotionally steady and even. There is no longer such an emotional tension with life or a feeling of being a victim of circumstance or holding onto the resentment that this engenders.
Letting go of the judgement and self-bashing has allowed an enrichment in my life and in my relationships that is becoming as natural and consistent as breathing. With no perfection, I can still find myself reacting to things before I even know I have done so. However, because of the internal steadiness that has developed, I find that I can let go of the reaction much more quickly, getting back into an equilibrium without going into a stew and justification.
This stability has allowed a defined connection to the woman I am in my relationships with family, at home and at work. Life is not about being ‘perfect’ but about being more of who I truly am. Being inspired to self-nurture on a deeper level, when I get tired by a big day or a little out of sorts from it, it is easier to stay with that feeling of nurturing. The beautiful by-product of this is that I can come home from work tired and be able to be with my family in a nurturing quality. I have discovered how so very lovely it is to be in the moment and in the flow of life instead of being disgruntled by it!
‘Being me’ has taken on a whole new significance as I realise that the essence of who we are far outshines any internal contraction or angst, or any ideal of what we feel we have to live up to for approval from the outside world.
It has allowed me to connect to that inner essence and for that to be my guide. Over the years Natalie has supported, very much so, in the understanding of this truth. She has supported me to unpick the pictures of life I had invested in so as to keep the belief of being lesser running and all those associated emotions playing that keep me in the comfort of playing small. From observing the vastness of what Natalie brings with such grace, comes an awareness in the power of living your all for everyone.
Natalie Benhayon continues to inspire – her humour alone says much about how you can be seriously committed but light about it at the same time. She just simply blows me away with the richness and beauty of her quality and how she reflects the wisdom, joy and abundance of what is possible to live!