What is love? The usual notion of true love, turned on its head.

‘What is Love?’ It’s an age-old question we all ask, young and old. But why are we still asking it?

I remember, at the age of 47, being stopped in my tracks when I first clocked being met with love. It came in the form of a reprimand, delivered with such love, it was nothing like I had expected love to feel like.

These moments are complete game-changers.

‘Stopped in my tracks’, was the total opposite of ‘falling in love!’ This new experience of love was asking me to reassess my assumptions about what love is, what it means to be in love, even what it means to be in a relationship.

So often our lovers and relationships come with unspoken agendas, hidden needs and certain conditions: after all, who hasn’t experienced the bargaining relationships reduced to “I’ll do this for you, if you’ll do that for me” or the feeling of doing something out of obligation, far from any real feeling or joy in it.

But with this ‘Stop-in-Your-Tracks’ love, there was something else, no needing something from me or conditions, no silent demands, just a simple seeing and acceptance of who I am – all of me, good and bad, no filters no expectations, and the unspoken invitation not to be better but to be more. Unspoken but clearly and loudly saying “Hey! You are wise, capable, tender, responsible and respectful and it is there for you to be, to whatever degree you choose.”

When we come across this kind of love it asks us to go deeper, not by words, but by reflection, it says “this is you”. It is a love that deepens not only the relationship we can have with another person, but also the growing and deepening of our way with ourselves: this love becomes an ever unfolding encounter that returns us to us in every respectful act or thought we have for ourselves.

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Making love

Making love is a confirmation and celebration of the loving way you have been living with another.

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  • By Rosanna Bianchini, BA Hons, Complementary therapies practitioner, EPA Recognised

    Graphic designer, property manager, Esoteric Yoga practitioner and day-to-day explorer of the philosophy, religion and science of life – sharing life with family and friends in the riverside, market town of Evesham, UK