Love - the main event at a wedding

Rediscover the simplicity of a wedding

Love - the main event at a wedding

I never wanted to get married until l heard an old story about how the Cathars from the 1200’s lived and how their marriage ceremonies were such a loving event.

The Cathars lived in France, England and parts of Europe and lived simple, loving and harmonious lives. Tragically they were wiped out by the Catholic Church of the time, mostly for not adhering to the ways of the Church.

When they decided to marry, they invited their friends and family to celebrate the love they had for each other and to support the couple in starting their new life together. Everyone brought along food to share as a gift of love. It was so simple, yet profoundly loving.

Love was truly what they were celebrating without any impress from the Church on how it should be. The bride and groom married into the whole community so everyone was able to share in and be a part of their love!

When I heard this story it stirred something deep inside me and I felt for the first time what a true marriage could be. I had always had a problem with my perception of a modern wedding and how the focus of the vows seemed to be on things like obedience instead of the focus being on what really matters – love.

After hearing the story of the Cathars, it suddenly all made sense.

I felt I could now share how much love I felt for my girlfriend with my friends and family ... and celebrate our love in a true marriage, in a way that felt natural to us. So walking along with my girlfriend after this story had been shared, I turned to her and said, “Would you like to get married?”

We got married on the beach with family and friends and it felt that we were on fire with love. Our celebration truly was all about confirming our love for each other and also our love for everyone.

We all brought a plate to share, and everyone felt that there was nothing less than love all around us. It was so simple and all done without all the expensive trimmings of what modern weddings can involve.

So in short, I did a complete turn-around – and I have found that a true marriage is a deeply loving experience.

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  • By Steven Leca

  • Photography: Clayton Lloyd