Confessions of a drama queen

Confessions of a drama queen

Confessions of a drama queen

I was busted as a drama queen last year. I responded with a suitably dramatic audible gasp and wide-eyed horror to being told I was indeed a drama queen. I have to say I was genuinely surprised. Denial is a key element to anyone addicted to this way of living.

Dictionary Definition of a drama queen: Is someone who uses exaggeration or overly emotional reactions to events.

The true definition of a drama queen is someone who uses emotions as a way of distracting themselves from avoiding responsibility for their actions. It is someone who is much more interested in reacting rather than responding.

Immediately after this, I showed a document I had been working on to a colleague. They pointed out one aspect that was not quite right and my immediate reaction was to ditch what I had done and dismiss what I had tried to do. This was the drama queen in ACTION. I clocked it and said it out loud. When I recognised what I was doing and named it – nominated it, I could then begin the process of changing behaviours.

It was in this moment, I realised the game that I was playing when being a Drama Queen.

It’s an abdication of responsibility, because if I make a big song and dance and distract myself, I don’t truly look at what’s going on. To really allow and acknowledge the games it requires a moment of stillness a pondering, honesty and reflection.

While I am singing and dancing, huffing and puffing I am not doing the very thing that would support me to make true changes.

By going into the drama we reduce our power in every moment. In every moment we have the opportunity to choose to be real and honest and THAT is powerful.

There is also the harm that is caused by being a drama queen, it creates:

  • false and strained relationships,
  • buries the true issues, avoids self responsibility,
  • keeps you in a constant state of anxiety to name a few!

Being dramatic actually isn’t a great way to live your life even though the excitement is a tempting part of the addiction!

There is a STEADINESS required, that as a self confessed Drama Queen I have actively avoided for most of my life. It seemed so much more ‘FUN’ to flit from one drama or reaction to another. In contrast, there is actually immense fun to be had in connecting to your self – your feelings, being present and responding rather than reacting to life’s events, and a real playfulness and magic that your body and life can offer you.

However, it requires a willingness to drop the emotional outpouring, pause and feel whatever it is you are feeling then simply take responsibility for your part in what ever it is that is occurring. That willingness to be responsible and present is much more amazing than indulging in Drama Queen and a simple step that can bring about true change.

Top tips to creating steadiness instead of drama

  1. Start practicing the gentle breath meditation daily – it only takes 5 minutes so it’s easy to fit in to your daily routine.

  2. Watch yourself, start paying attention to how you react, notice when you make something more than it needed to be.

  3. Start taking care of your body with a regular daily walk, start out with 15mins and increase as you feel to.

  4. When you feel yourself getting anxious about being still and start wanting to chat or gossip, connect to your breath.

  5. Relax, you’ve been huffing and puffing for a while now, so you won’t change overnight. But know if you make the start of connecting more to your body and breath you will eventually feel more comfortable in your own skin and the drama just won’t feel so enticing or exciting, it will feel uncomfortable and unpleasant.

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  • By Vanessa McHardy, MA Integrative Child Psychotherapist

    Vanessa loves to help young people and adults to have an understanding of how they learn and how they can express all of themselves in all areas of their lives. True learning is at the heart of Vanessa’s life in all ways.

  • Photography: Dean Whitling, Brisbane based photographer and film maker of 13 years.

    Dean shoots photos and videos for corporate portraits, architecture, products, events, marketing material, advertising & website content. Dean's philosophy - create photos and videos that have magic about them.