Right & wrong
Right & wrong
Have you ever considered how right and wrong impacts your life and your relationships?
Exploring these two words can be absolutely life changing. How so? Let’s explore a few possible ways of how right and wrong have their way.
Have you ever:
- tried to prove a point?
- wanted the last say?
- had an argument or disagreement?
- justified or defended yourself?
- blamed another?
- felt ashamed, guilty or bad?
- spoke in an imposing tone of voice?
These everyday behaviours can so often be carried out without question. For example, if your partner says they are going to be home at 6.00pm for dinner yet they arrive at 7.00pm without communicating, how do we deal with this?
Would it be fair to say the partner was wrong to turn up late and the other partner has the right to be upset?
Or how about: you arrive home from work, the day has been big and you haven’t quite let go of the tensions of the day. When you walk in the door your partner uses their sensitivity to clock that you are not fully yourself. Yet in this sensitivity they react rather than observe and snap out with – “what’s wrong with you?” – setting you up to be on the back foot and defensive.
Where do we go from here?
We can see that the game of right and wrong is no more than a seesaw of emotions. One minute you feel like you are thudding down on the ground in a pit of wrong – looking up at the other person in defence – and the next minute you are high and mighty looking down on the other person trying to prove your point.
The tit for tat, argy-bargy of right and wrong is a game that will always ensure one person is put down while the other is propped up. Being right is like grabbing someone by the scruff of the neck and making them sniff their wrongdoings. It is imposing, forceful and unnecessary, and where does it get you? One person gets to feel a little puffed up and in control momentarily, while the other is deflated in a pit of shame and guilt. It is a divisive process, no matter which way we approach it.
So … what if we ditched being right and replaced it with being true and loving, and we ditched being wrong and replaced it with being responsible?
This simple switch would change our lives.
“Being right should never be the goal, but the humble outcome of seeking what is true.”Serge Benhayon Esoteric Teachings & Revelations Volume I, ed 1, p 135
Let’s reframe the above scenario from this switch.
Example: your partner says they are going to be home at 6.00pm for dinner yet they arrive home at 7.00pm without communicating – how do we deal with this?
From the perspective of right and wrong this may simply give us the right to react or to be hurt and frustrated. There are many emotions this one example could create.
Yet how could this play out from the switch? Your partner arrived home an hour late. Absolutely we could say the choice to not communicate is unloving, it lacks integrity and respect. We wouldn’t rock up to a job interview an hour late without communicating and expect to be taken seriously … so for sure, there are certainly steps of responsibility to be taken for the partner who is late.
Yet, how would we approach it from our love and truth? The way this is expressed will be different for everyone. Some may choose to have a conversation around how this has impacted them. Others may choose to understand what set this situation up in the first place and seek to bring understanding to their partner, yet others may look to find ways to support and prevent this from happening in the future or may simply say – “lover, not ok. I don’t deserve that, so please pull your socks up”.
There is never a right and wrong way when it comes to how we deal with things… what is there is a way that feels true; it feels settling, it allows us to feel empowered and ourselves. When we express from our love and truth it does not come with the force of imposition. It comes with directness, yet it also comes with a loving holding.
So next time a situation arises where we may go to be right or we may go to be wrong, observe what you are feeling in the moment and from there surrender to what is being felt in the body before going in for the kill, so to speak.
There is always a deeper reading as to why things are playing out the way they are.
“To find truth there has to be at least a willingness to be honest –Serge Benhayon Esoteric Teachings & Revelations Volume I, ed 1, p 75
without honesty there can never be any truth.”
Being right is sometimes a situation of being right, as in literally – you are in fact right. But really… where does this stance get us? Yeah sure, it was shabby of your partner to rock up late without communicating … that is an obvious one.
So the question is: how do we deepen our relationship with what we are feeling, what we are reading and how to express ourselves so we can address the energy that is creating each situation? There is a way to be with this that allows the other to feel the pull-up without the slap.
Likewise, is being wrong now a process of taking a greater level of responsibility so that we don’t fall victim to our wrongdoings? It is more a process of yep, that is there to be learned, there are things I can step up to, there is a greater responsibility and purpose to commit to.
Let’s ditch being right and being wrong. It gets us nowhere.
Love, truth and responsibility are where it is at, an opportunity to evolve ourselves and others in the process. Win-win.