Grandparenting from Stillness
Grandparenting from Stillness
When I became a grandparent I was thrilled. I thought “great, all of the joy of children but none of the responsibility”. Not so. I have come to realise that yes, it is a joy being a grandparent but there is also a great responsibility.
At first, my sense of entitlement took a bit of a knock – so what was my role? I realised I had obtained a sense of identification through my role as a grandparent.
I grew to understand I was simply there to support my son and daughter-in-law, reflecting to them and to my grandchildren that there is a way to live in this world without being caught up in the chaos of it. Esoteric Yoga has been a huge support for me in this; it has enabled me to connect to an inner stillness, that I can take with me throughout all of my day.
The quality of stillness has been so supportive in tricky situations – quite a few when toddlers are around! When I stay calm and still inside, without any emotional drama, my family feels this. It is felt in the way I speak, including the speed and tone of voice that they receive.
Our movements and body language reflect out to everyone around, like ripples in a pond and in that we can say quite a lot without uttering a sound! The quality of energy we express is communicating every moment – and knowing that life is not just about physicality but energy first, we have no idea where these energetic ripples may reach.
Mishaps occur of course, but paying attention to my breath, to my body and coming back to what’s truly important in life brings me back to myself. As a grandparent I have learned to let go of pictures as to how things ‘should’ be – another area where I have experienced letting go of expectations. Without these projections and expectations there is little or no judgement on my part, so when I am with my family we accept each other as we are.
As a 70-year-old elder I don’t have the nimbleness I did when I had my own children, though I love being with my grandchildren in person or on What’s App. We sometimes play games online when we are physically distant. I love reading them stories, snuggling up close, going for walks in nature and just generally enjoy being with them. I am responsive in the moment to what is asked of me, and sometimes that won’t be verbally expressed.
The more I have learned to love myself, take care of myself and live a more tender and heart-felt life, the more I can offer my grandchildren, indeed all children with whom I’m in contact. Esoteric Yoga has contributed hugely to the quality I am in, learning to be at one with myself, feeling whole and complete, and this can be felt by those around me.
The template of an Esoteric Yoga is a template for life. The gentle moves give us an experience of how to connect to stillness within, to focus on our body and bring conscious presence to all that we do. We can then take that into our movements as we go through our day, without perfection...…
So, what is my role? Just to be me – without a label – to have a sense of purpose and to be loving, knowing how we live – in stillness – offers a reflection for others.